when the color drains from your world

The experience of receiving bad news, departing from health, or another crisis - personal or shared with others - can have the effect of turning one's vision from color to black and white; or from full surround-sound to mute. Everything is as before all around you. The birds flitter and chirrup, the cars move smoothly down the road, and the postal delivery comes through rain or shine. And yet one's own vision is altered. The reverse is also true: great joy turns up the volume on the music in one's heart; it makes the colors more vivid and the flavors richer.
       In the same way, waking up to the abiding presence of God in this creation can similarly alter one's vision. Knowing that God is in us and those around us, through daylight and darkness, in tempest and on fine days, gives some comfort and satisfaction. Suddenly the same old routines, interactions and verbal exchanges take on a precious sweetness or have the effect of a soothing balm. The imagery of a cool drink of water or a healthful meal with others captures this in-filling well-being that comes with the assurance of All is Well.
       In Dutch there is an expression for a person busy searching for something, while all the time it was there at hand, somehow overlooked, "hij zoekt zijn paard en hij zit er op" (He's looking for the horse, but he is sitting on it). Perhaps that is the experience of waking up to God's place in the wider world of all centuries, and God's place in our personal worlds, as well: already there, but waiting for each person to open her or his eyes to see the wonder of it all.

stumbling block or supporting structure - how your church fits you?

There is a delicate and living balance for each person to undertake between flow and control (the soccer referee analogy for officiating the game versus allowing play to carry on), or between fluency and accuracy (the foreign language learning analogy for stopping to look up each word, versus flowing along with some inaccuracies of hearing and speaking), or between knowledge and faith (the seminary analogy for those who overstudy the letter of the Bible versus the ones less well versed, but more in spirit of any given passage). In each instance one must find the sweet spot between too much structure, tradition, rules on the one hand and the absence of method, procedure, organization or structure on the other hand. Too much detail and structure can turn into obstacles that separate a person from seeking and loving God. Too little scaffolding or supporting structure can leave a person feeling in limbo; without direction or forward motion; without handholds or landmarks to steer by.

A similar balancing act on a very fine line is between socializing that is routine and comfortable, versus fellowship that is more purposive and geared to building rapport and trust enough to carry the weight of shared sorrow (or joy); that allows one person to open up to another and to express care. From the outside maybe it looks like the interactions of socializing and fellowship are indistinguishable, and yet what transpires in the heart may well be different.

Still another fine line separates the urge to make the public worship on Sundays as open and accessible to passers-by as possible (the door is open; the people are welcoming) and yet once on the road with Jesus and one's fellow travelers in righteousness, the "way is narrow" (or is it the gate is narrow?). That is to say, all are welcome, but the habits of a righteous heart can be exclusive and demanding; indeed few seem to follow fully or deeply for their long years.

In the end it is important for each person to discover how much structure and routine will guide them along their search for God's will and their love of fellow man. A church that creates obstacles and even stumbling blocks is not suitable for the person encumbered in such things. But those same conditions may well be the supporting structure that another person needs to grow strong in faith and deeds.

Your heart – muscle and interior life

Years ago there would be articles in the Reader's Digest with titles like, "I am Joe's kidney," told in the first person to acquaint readers with the structure and function of a particular organ. Thinking about parallels between one's heart as muscle (my heart is all aflutter) and as figurative center of being or mind (what I know is true in my heart of hearts), the following starter list comes to mind.*

1)      The muscles you use will grow stronger; the ones you don't use diminish. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual strength, it makes sense to exercise one's heart by actively seeking God's will, listening for opportunities to do God's work, and then to follow one's heart where it leads, including to places and words and deeds outside of one's normal.

2)      Muscle memory is the idea that overlearning, or over practicing, something will lead to a level of fluency and automaticity that one can perform instinctively when the need arises or when pressure increases. When your conscious mind knows not what to do, your muscle memory can perform flawlessly. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual expression, it makes sense to rehearse and exercise regularly so that the patterns and relationships built by religious discipline can function smoothly in good times as well as bad. For instance, memorizing verses, passages, Lord's Prayer, and so on means that these are available even when one is stuck or trapped in a corner.

3)      Relax when trying too hard so that the result is fluid and masterful. Many people will have the experience of racking their brains to remember a name or a certain word only to find that it comes to them sometime later, after they have stopped trying so hard. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual depth & knowing, it makes sense to exert oneself but not to expect the needed result until sometime later, when no longer applying deliberate force and effort to the matter. For example, pray hard and pray often, but expect the best chance of hearing a reply only later, after relaxing from the strain of trying so hard.

4)      "Flow" or "in the zone" refer to a level of fluidity, gracefulness, and seeming effortlessness in one's athletic expression or in creative endeavors. Everything just seems to click into place at the right time, in the right sequence, and in the right way. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual flow, it makes sense to repeat one's training, exercise, efforts so often that magical moments when all elements suddenly work together in harmonious result.

=-= *photo credit, creative commons, J. Trbovich

Bible Study – objects of worship; Sanhedrin programs; chronology of Jesus followers

Still in the book of Acts, as written by Luke, a number of tangents followed from the reading. One concerns the human hunger for the tangible and quantifiable. Our memories normally are tied to a location, a person, an event, or a thing. This attachment makes us conflate the meaning or significance with the physical fabric of some thing or some person. And yet, it is our hearts that God calls out to. It is our hearts that learn to respond to God’s nudges or prodding. It is not ritual objects, sets of rules, special words, or sacred elements that inherently confer righteousness. Instead it is what communicates to our hearts (by means of those materials and those moments). Even knowing this false equation of the physical traces to the Godly meanings, we still fall easily into that misapprehension and pour our energies into polishing the shiny objects, or uttering the special words reverently.

Another thread of tangent spun off from the confrontation of the Apostles with the Sanhedrin (Jewish authorities) who forbid the men from continuing to speak praises of (the crucified) Jesus. We talked about the hereditary line of Sadducees and the more recent line (and political movement) of Pharisees, and how both of them struggled to go on when the Temple later was destroyed in A.D. 70 by the Roman occupation forces when a few Jewish uprisings, the Zealots, and the dagger men (sacari) led to retribution. Where, then, did Paul (Saul) fit into the timeline? In order to picture the overlapping lives of Jesus, his Gospel writers, the disciples fanning out across the trade routes of the Mediterranean, and among these Paul, one can think of the Paul as a teenager, just coming into his studies with the master of Jewish law, Gamaliel, around the time of the public ministry of Jesus near the end of his earthly life. Then for a certain number of years Paul persecuted the emergent movement of Jesus followers in their contradiction to the Laws of Moses, despite the declared position of Jesus “not to abolish the Law, but to fulfill it.” Paul’s execution in Rome is estimated around A.D. 65 – 67. And so his awakening to the message of the Gospel could have been around A.D. 42, say, and his subsequent travels and epistles would then run more than 20 years.

It is marvelous to read the chapters of the Bible again, in the company of other curious minds, and to turn up ever more and different angles, connections to one’s own lived experience, or the questions that happen to be on one’s heart at the time we get together on a Tuesday morning around a pot or two of coffee.