Not exactly - 2nd Commandment, "Love They Neighbor"

These days most people understand the commandment to "love your neighbor" as both 'paying back' and 'paying forward'; in other words, everyone owes a debt of gratitude to one another. The illustration here puts Mark 12:30-31 in three versions of the commandment, New International Version, The Message (contemporary, conversational style), and set to Hawai'ian Pidgin English. Whether you rationalize the effort to offer help to others as "owed" or "freely given and unconditional," or simply a Biblical injunction, the idea is to hold the heart of a servant who puts the other person (the master or a fellow servant, or a stranger) ahead of oneself; or rather, equal to oneself - loving the neighbor AS LOVING ONESELF, neither self nor other on a pedestal.

But in practice, day to day, most people will assume this means to think about others AND THEN to do something that directly or indirectly benefits the person. In other words, fulfilling the commandment is about oneself making a gift of time, caring, money, or some other form of value to the other person; a sort of one-directional movement in one's own power to initiate and define the terms. There is an echo in this commandment acted out that way in the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would also have done unto yourself." And yet, perhaps that is not exactly the full meaning of relating to others since a one-way action is only part of the relationship.

In present-day USA society there is a premium put upon attaining independence; not being a burden on others, never being in a position of having to ask for help. So it makes sense that the commandment would be seen as wholly in control of the donor; the person committing to action on his or her own terms. Perhaps a complete, fulfilled meaning of the commandment leaves room for the recipient of the gift to initiate the process, set the pace, and react to the terms of the interaction, too. For example, a donor who is in ill health, disabled, or otherwise ill equipped for something may receive others' help and both parties can be viewed as donors because the helper is giving something, but the receiver is allowing themselves to be helped, by choice or maybe in having no choice. In other words, the definition of "giving" need not be limited to something of value transferring from donor to receiver. Rather, there is a valuable gift in the situation of the person needing help, verbalized or silently expressing a need (and willingness) to be helped. Dignity can inhere in both sides of the relationship. "Loving" one's neighbor can thus take the form of gracefully and gratefully accepting the donor's gift.

Besides the word 'love', the other word to scrutinize in "Love they neighbor as thyself" is SELF. In present-day US society there is great emphasis on isolated agency at liberty to act in a least restrictive environment, unfettered by government, ordinances, customs, or superstitions. Each person is an island on which she or he is ruler (and subject). But despite this imagery of separateness, most people in 2024 are not alone. They are related to kith and kin in some ways in private life or in public occupation and transaction. Therefore, a truer interpretation of SELF is a relationship image to see when looking in the mirror. Who you are is the sum total of all those past, present, and (presumptive) future relationships, too. If you were to suddenly leave the country or the mortal world, the gap left behind is maybe the most complete picture of your SELF in (social) totality. Thus, "love thy neighbor as thyself" in its more complete sense means to care for others and equally to care for oneself not as isolated data points, but as whole beings in webs of connection to many others at the same time. By touching the heart of the visible person, ripples extend to many others whom you cannot see at the moment. So the second commandment is not exactly limited to unilateral acts of donor to recipient. It is a 2-way experience: both parties presenting something of worth to the other. And it is not exactly limited to the flesh and bones of SELF since the totality of a self cannot truly be excised from the surrounding relationships that person is part of.

By extension, the Golden Rule can usefully be upgraded to the Platinum Rule that international exchange programs teach their incoming and outgoing travelers: "Do unto others AS THEY WOULD LIKE to be done unto (not as YOU would like done unto you)."