The early morning hours are dark this time of year. A few days after the national holiday of Thanksgiving the lights and lawn decorations for Christmas start appearing. This one includes the festive lights in addition to a sturdy crucifix covered in lights and in the window on the porch is a 5 pointed star. The cross is where the earthly life of Jesus will end near the time of Passover, 33 years after his Christmastime birth, celebrated at the time of year with least light. Year after year the symbols and other decorations that reference Christianity appear here and there. And yet the moment we presume to comprehend God's infinity, we are bound to be mistaken. After all, how can a finite mortal mind grasp something that is infinite? The same goes for the 99 names of God. To confine the Lord God to a single name is impossible, foolish and deluded. And yet, feeble creatures that we are, we crave something definite; not infinite. By presuming to know the name of God we tend to believe that somehow we therefore know God. But a better way might be to work on unlearning your knowledge of God, since it is simple or mistaken inevitably. Neither a star (over the place where the baby lies in a manger) nor a crucifix fully stands for God. The false sense of grasping God's meaning and presence is best counteracted by unlearning one's assumptions about God.

Be a Christian? Christian is something you do?

Which is the goal and which is the process; which the means, which the ends? 

Does one do lots of interactions (not for merit-making, but for training one's heart) in order to be more Christ-like? Or should the emphasis be on maintaining and thriving a heart of servanthood, righteousness attitude, and awareness of gratitude in order the actively engage with one's world in a more Christ-like way?

Perhaps the best clue comes from one of the names for God, "I AM." If the goal is to train one's heart to seek out God in places, people, and events big or small, then the actions along the way are facilitating this goal, but the action or lack of action by itself does not a Christian make. The path of older brother Jesus in an embodied experience; a chance to interact with the social and physical environment. That is to say, faith without action is incomplete; and yet, merely going through the motions, however charitable they may seem, does not particularly train one's heart. In other words, actions are necessary, but by themselves are not sufficient to produce and expand one's place in the world. Therefore strive for a heart that seeks after God and delights in the relationships formed with others travelimg this path, too.

The closing lines of my friend's lifetime poem show how important the lived, 3-dimensional, embodied experience is.

The purposeful meaning floods over me

To relate to our creator in time.

This is our task while we are living;

And its purpose can well be divine.

I must do it through personal relationships

For I conceive God in only this way.

As we live in true dialogue together

We become part of creation today.

W.P.R

St. Jovite, Quebec

[full text at http:// tinyurl.com/wpr1968]

Here I am, Lord

In this compact phase is much of what it means to be God's child; God's servant; God's heir; God's hands and feet.

By reaching upward and outward and declaring you are here and receptive, it means you are poised to listen for direction or connection, your eyes are open and seeking God's direction, and your heart is softened enough to accept gladly God's will.

..."Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven" points to the foundation of this new heaven and earth in which the Kingdom of God is built in one's heart. From that foundation all things are possible; all boundaries can be crossed, all obstacles can be overcome, or at least can be grappled with. And so, among the many messages, needs, wonderings, and seeking that makes up one's week and worship experience, or even comprises one's entire life course, the part about opening one's heart is perhaps the most important, with everything else the detail and furniture that can be moved around that space in one's heart. Thus the study of Greek, the peculiarities of translation between languages and historical periods, the exercise of servanthood and making offerings, etc all follow from the basic goal of changing one's heart from "zero sum game" or "homo economicus" (mere consumer units whose purpose is to "maximize utility") to the heart that Jesus exhibited for disciples and those who met him: a place where "giving to Caeser what is Caeser's" can co-exist with "God's Kingdom here on Earth." If we all could see past the texture, rhythm, flavor and habits of Order of Worship, denominational differences, and customs in one's own family ways, then perhaps in some small way hearts could shift from the worldview trained up in classrooms, online and found in movies or TV. Instead there could be a growing fraction of the wider society that sees connection, not separation between one and all; and sees service in kindness as the highest calling, not reaching a high net worth to pass on to others at death.

In the outbursting of "here I am, Lord" is the posture and the heart that is eager to seize God within one's daily routines and the lives one touches along the way. Stumbling over the meaning of trinity, the interplay of faith and works, the mercy and justice, as well as suffering and joy, instead we should dwell on the things that improve (and minimize the things that distract or harden) one's heart. It is, after all, and ultimately a Gospel of the heart; a kingdom within you and me.

if God were a place holder in our algebraic imaginations

setting aside the unknown allows you to get on with grasping the subject

The 'people of the Book' all worship the God of Abraham, who before their meeting is described as chief among the gods, also named YHWH. But each brings different linquistic, historical and geographical particulars to their vision and relationship to God and each other. Having heard many passages of the Bible read and preached more than once, and having grown accustomed or complacent in the regularity of the liturgical year, at some moments my hearing of the message jumps off the tracks and then it all seems a bit hollow or has the sense of trying too hard to force the world view to work in each person's circumstances and changing times we inhabit. For example, instead of freely resonating with the praise and preaching of God's goodness; of doing as did Jesus when reaching out in response to strangers, this morning the possibility of God being a signifier or place holder entered my mind. Suppose it is the weekly declaration of our love of God that makes it so, not any sort of external flow of reality. In other words, you can 'fake it until you make it' by living a righteous life, forgiving sin and asking one's owns sins against others to be forgiven. By pressing forward as if the Kingdom already has come, then indeed something that looks and feels of the Kingdom does indeed take shape; at least in one's own heart and responsiveness to others.
       Perhaps this is overthinking; after all, mere mortals can dance verbal or analytical circles around scripture, but the full and true meaning will always be bigger than we can wrap our minds around. But there does seem to be something in the observation that we see one thing, but mistake for another. We call the beginning of the church worship service an invocation, as if some external force is hailed. In fact the work of calming the restless mind for a moment, of opening one's heart, and of paying attention to one another all takes place in one's self; not an external invocation but an internal one. Likewise, we look far away for God's will, but if the God notion is instead a place holder, then it is rather for us to look inward for that will of goodness and hunger for mercy, love, and righteousness. This string of reasoning seems to hold together from Protestant context and custom of discussing, but I wonder if the same wondering can take place from a Muslim or Jewish point of view.

win the race versus run the race

click for full size, or see https://www.flickr.com/photos/respres/13768813703

The imagery of competition does not seem to be very prominent in either Jewish or Christian Bibles. Economic success is not frowned on, but with wealth comes burdens different to those of poverty; a weight of responsiveness, responsibility, stewardship, highest and best use, and so on. So what is the role of striving relative to one's peer group (versus striving to beat your own best records; or rising to your fullest ability). Surely God knows what one is capable of, even better than one's own sense of physical, emotional, and spiritual limits. And we are told of God's unconditional love, in spite of sloth, stupidity or mean spiritedness, and the many other frailties that take one's eyes off of God.
       It seems to defy logical syllogism or linear thinking that a person should seek to be ever more righteous and closer to God; to more perfectly hear and respond to God's call. But that no matter how badly we fail (or succeed), the consequence to one's relationship to God is the same - unbreakable love; at least God's unchanging love of his creatures. Perhaps it is the other side that displays the most shift in consequences: a person getting closer and closer to God's will and heart will reciprocate the bottomless love that God has for his people. Whether we have a good day or a bad day; God is still unbending in his love for us, but our hearts move closer or farther from God's will, depending on our circumstances on life's arc, or over the course of a single day.
       Moving to another seeming paradox: We are taught to be "in the world but not of the world," to engage in relationships with other sinners, but to guard against (and remove ourselves from) keeping bad company. We are exclusive (the gate is narrow) but work to make our doors open to all (the road is wide), to meet people where they are (inside the church building or in the street). We want to be righteous, but acknowledge we are sinners. We want to advance in (interior) moral stature but with our feet of clay we shy from (exterior) moral superiority. We want to harness a competitive spirit as a motivator to do better (than our old selves; possibly to keep pace with mentors) and yet we want to regard all in common and equal terms. Somehow this all spells out a certain tension.
     So, yes, run the race your hardest; hopefully without trampling others along your way. But know that how long you run or how quickly you reach the finish line, God's love is given in grace. You may be motivated by benchmarking your progress in reference to peers, or even in reference to your own precedents, but however that may shape your own heart and your own expression of love for God, the part shown you by God will not be any less or any more. It is full and complete, come rain or shine. Getting back to the picture above and the figurative language of races, winning, gold medals, and competitors, a good summation of God's love and our place along the road of mortal life is consider yourself a winner, no matter what the worldly games may be: having the mindset or heart of a winner will serve you better than striving to win the race itself.

Going to church?

Ancient monument is the status of a notable place or thing that remains present in today's landscape of cultural meaning, despite no longer being actively in service as it was in use during its heyday. Examples are locations for past battles, recorded by historians or ones older than written records, or the traces of structures now in disuse and disrepair, like this picture of a religious center. But why visit ruins or seek faint traces of long ago people and events? What is the attraction and significance?

Some visitors might claim direct descent from the people of that long-ago place and time. Others might visit for education, according to the guidebook advice or in the course of a field trip led by one's teacher. Visitors with the most distant connections to the subject or event tied to the site could be seeking physical, tangible communication with the past, somehow knowing by direct perception a little more about that place or time.

In the case of a house of worship now-defunct, some might say that a place once sacred is always infused with righteous meaning. Others might take a technical perspective and say it has no roof or assigned spiritual leader, therefore it is no longer alive as a fully functioning church; possibly soon after its last worship service the site was deconsecrated, thus downgrading the edifice to ordinary building. Remembering that a church is a body of believers not a building, very likely the religious community was gone long before the building began to leak and decay. So why do visitors come here but not sight seeing at an active church?

This place could once have been the scene of intense belief, high aspirations, deep doubts or feelings of guilt, or fear of disapproval. Learning and preaching could have gone on at the same time as economic redistribution, medical and spiritual healing, and decision-making for project and services.  Plunder - sanctioned by rulers or the illegal kind, poaching of building materials or decorative elements, and simple vandalism combined with the annual cycle of weather events and seasonal pattern of damp, freeze-thaw forces, and flooding to render the site as we now see it.

The passage of time keeps the vivid, personal, or engaging side of the thing at a distance. Visitors from the year 2016 can wander and let themselves wonder at the thing and what it did, it stood for, it resulted in, and the conditions needed initially to bring the structure and its functions into being and then to sustain its vitality from one generation to the next. By contrast a visitor to a currently functioning house of worship can still wander to some extent and can still wonder how it came to be and continues year by year. But there is little or no distance between the visitor and those within the church. And without that (psychological /historical) distance, the visitor may be asked questions, or the visitors reverie may be contradicted by the interpretation of a church leader or lay member.  In other words, one may go to an ancient monument to discover something distant and to exercise imagination unfettered. At a modern religious center that is fully functional, the physical part is only a fraction of the complete entity, since the body of believers is the living church, not the bricks-and-mortar or the sermon podcast on offer, for example. For a visitor seeking a taste of yore and the free play of imagination there is nothing like a ruin. A religious place of our time lacks the necessary distance of time and the quiet absence of movement that allows one’s imagination to roam.

Death of a young friend

feeling darkly on this bright summer day at news of friend's death

Today we got news of the complications after maxio-facial elective surgery that resulted in cardiac distress, brain hypoxia, therapeutically induced coma and then 4 days after the start of things, his death at age 18, having newly been graduate from high school and eagerly planning the next chapter of his life.

My first real memory was sometime after he and his mom began attending the church and at less than 4 feet tall he was a confident coffee drinker, like his mom. That must have been 13 or 14 years ago. When we saw him at the open house to celebrate his graduation he must have been well over 6’2” and not skinny either.

As soon as word went around of the uncertain prognosis following his unexpected reactions, many church members and non-members made prayers for healing, physician wisdom, but ultimately that God’ Will be done. Then to receive the announcement of his death and the day and time for memorializing him was a shock, even to those outside his own family, but all the moreso for them.

Disbelief, tears of loss, hints of perceived injustice, hindsight (what if he had delayed the needed procedure in case breakthroughs are devised in the future when the elective surgery reaches a critical non-elective state at mid-life), memories of final conversations and images all come to mind, one after another. Fumbling for words to say to his mom and how to talk to others in church now apprised of the death also come to mind.

One part of shock is denial or disbelief: how could our friend be alive and alert and present in the conversation, but now be no more? Amputees describe “phantom limbs” I which nerves still send signals even though no limb corresponds to the end of the nerve line now. Perhaps the same is true when a loved one is cut off from accustomed and friendly routines. We continue to look for him to walk through the door, to laugh his old laugh, or to salute on another in passing by.

Grieving is a process without end, although the function and meanings change along the way. Perhaps disbelief at the whole thing will shift to resignations or possibly, in time, come to be a source of hope and basis for faith. Compared to other places and other points in history, most of us seldom have personal or close-up experiences of death apart from our own moment. So the whole thing may8 somehow make sense, or seem all right for people surrounded by death. But since we glorify youth and potential, and personal control or choices, the situation of young death that comes unexpectedly seems the very most horrible.

The people of the Bible times normally had shorter lives, and death came in many ways. Greater rates of childbirth counterbalanced the dying (indeed birthing could itself be a cause of dying). So the consoling words found in the Good Book are well tried and polished by frequent use. They apply today, as well, but to our 21^st century ears perhaps the full meaning is not heard.

A prayer of Moses the man of God.

¹ Lord, you have been our dwelling place
    throughout all generations.
² Before the mountains were born
    or you brought forth the whole world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

³ You turn people back to dust,
    saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.”
⁴ A thousand years in your sight
    are like a day that has just gone by,
    or like a watch in the night.
⁵ Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—
    they are like the new grass of the morning:
⁶ In the morning it springs up new,
    but by evening it is dry and withered.

[New International Version, Psalm 90]

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2090&version=NIV

Actually living versus just watching

Attending an outdoor summer concert by a traveling youth choir from overseas, I was impressed by several of their songs and wondered how it would be to practice the same music locally in our town's community choir. After all, to hear something is one sort of pleasure, but to commit to memory, or just to read from the printed page is another kind of pleasure.

     Thinking of analogies that parallel this "hearing it versus performing it" distinction, several illustrations come to mind: (1) soccer mom cheers, but volunteer referee (om) is on the field of play and becomes instrumental to conducting the game, (2) browsing recipes online or in  print or swapping them face to face may turn up new ideas or expand one's bucket list, but to actually track down the ingredients and follow the prescribed methods before finally serving the result is altogether a different experience, (3) looking at photo collections or viewing dozens of famous films may develop a taste for the fullest depth and meaning of the subjects presented, but to make one's own photo (influenced by champion exemplars or precedents) or producing one's own video requires different muscles. The illustrations could go on: read the libretto versus actually memorize the lines and blocking the stage movement, studying the whaling methods of premodern times versus using those same tools for the same purpose today –although bereft of the cultural system of reference points, master narratives and precedents, and distinctions from by-gone times.

     When it comes to church service – both the outward praise and the inward searching, there is some learning during the sermon message, which may also occur at time of Bible study, small group book discussion, and the living message made in the lives of mentors, peers, and mentees. But all these things serve to build up one's stock of knowledge, sort of like attending a concert performance versus putting the rehearsal time so one can move from audience to the stage itself and join with others in actually producing results instead of just add to one's private store of knowledge.

     So what will your answer be to the question about living the life that God prepares for you versus storing up knowledge, sharpening your curiosity, and tuning your ear to hear God's calling. Are you actually living or just preparing for a future life? No matter how many generations rise up and then pass away, still the actions necessary to live a full and useful life are worth doing afresh, again and again. It is in the living that so much of God's Will makes sense.

Prayer vigil at a time of distress

lots of aids for use of those taking a rotation in the 24 hour vigil at church for World and selves

The past weeks have brought horrible deaths and destruction by deliberate actions of rudderless individual actors, sometimes loosely affiliating with larger philosophies, but in no way part of God's being in the world: murder of police while they serve the public, killing of the public by police, massacre at gay nightclub Pulse in Orlando, mass killing to instill terror in France, Iraq, Syria, Bangladesh; the unrest in Venezuela's crumbling social order are among those instances we are told about by the news media. So a few people at church proposed that we organize a 24 hour cycle of praying to dwell on this World and God's peace, mercy, love, and justice within it. Typically we do this every year or two ad hoc, as our times require; although across the town square the Catholic brothers and sisters schedule this work once a month.

The 5 to 7 a.m. slots were quiet and bridged the dark of a summer night to the soft light of morning's rise. The photo shows some of the results from the previous 15 hours: large sheets with images, passages, exhortation - some sheets covered on both sides, but not signed. The altar bible dates from the 1950s, before the New International Version [NIV] was first printed. It is opened to Proverbs 2 and includes the verses 20-22: 

Thus you will walk in the ways of the good
    and keep to the paths of the righteous.
For the upright will live in the land,
    and the blameless will remain in it;

but the wicked will be cut off from the land,
    and the unfaithful will be torn from it.

On the floor is a pew Bible in the NIV translation, opened to Psalm 17 and 18.

Keep me as the apple of your eye;
    hide me in the shadow of your wings
from the wicked who are out to destroy me,
    from my mortal enemies who surround me.
They close up their callous hearts,
    and their mouths speak with arrogance [Ps 17:8-10]

As well, in reciting something like a cantor, Psalm 9 stood out:

Rise up, O Lord! Do not let mortals prevail;
    let the nations be judged before you.
Put them in fear, O Lord;
    let the nations know that they are only human. Selah [Ps 9:19-20 NRSV]

No formal advice was given to those giving their prayers, alone or in pairs, during the 24 hours.

Besides reading prayers from book or other printed page, reciting by heart, or composing extemporaneously, one could sing or speak the lyrics from a hymnal or in one's heart. Walking meditation helps some people focus their mind, as does visual expression on paper in some other people. Votive candles were lit for contemplation of the element of fire to hearken to God's presence and being (warmth, illumination, but also destruction and purification). The physical space of the worship area itself can lend inspiration or memories for some prayer makers, as does the contemplative CD recordings and selected books near the altar. The facts of posture (seated, prostrate, standing, arms akimbo or to the sides or palms help up or arms in exhortation), breathing, and movement (normal, slowed, glacial) can be another device to focus the mind and articulate the heart's desire. Verbal expression could be written from one's mind or copied from a source passage; spoken in big voice, conversational voice, or sotto voce. And inaudible recitation of prayer, even without words at all is possible, as is song as hummed or articulated.

By the middle of the 2nd hour, I had run through several of the expressions, above, and arrived at some sort of conclusion with regard to the subject of "distress in our people at home and abroad." As the minutes passed my distractable mind slowed its pace, made itself to feel at home in this setting, and got down to the work of focusing and listening. Eventually I got past the headlines and reportorial, high altitude perspective and began to imagine the personal scale of events; the lives extinguished and  the families, friends, co-workers left behind.

My prayer concept gradually emerged: that evil doers (yes, we also do pray God's love for them) and those preparing to do fresh evil may be overcome with a dread sense of weariness with their world and thereby would pause in their preparations and perverse goals long enough to cast aside the evil of their own accord: let there be heavy weariness upon the evil doers. And for those bereft of their loved one, left bereaved: let there be comfort and even forgiveness to forestall any self-blame or second-guessing themselves. As for those striving to do God's will, no matter if rain or shine: let there be fortitude and integrity that shines brightly for all to know.

And God's grace and presence; how to find it amid the confusion, contradictory messages, and preoccupations of mobile, digitally distracted daily living? The answer from this vigil seems to lie in the 5 senses. The full spectrum sunlight, silvery moonlight, or deep shadows all engage our visual receptors and express God's being visually. Sounds, rhythms and words all populate the audio field we live and work in. The same awareness of God in the sense of touch, smell, and taste can be made. By quieting one's heart, emptying one's hands and draining one's oversize ego, then the amplified sense of God occupying the physicality of our days comes to be a source of comfort. When seeking after God, just take a deep breath and then examine the 5 senses; not in the everyday, familiar way, but in a sharpened, amplified way: slowed down, turned up, maximized attention and delight. When you dwell in these, you are abiding in God's presence.

Finally the 5 a.m. to 7 a.m. rotation for this prayer vigil came to an end and the next folks walked into the sanctuary space to take a turn. Perhaps the chain of people praying up until now did not materially alter the world, but probably their efforts did touch their own hearts and align their head and heart to make some sense of the past few weeks of destruction and death.

public cross - what's it there for?

Crucifix can be on T-shirts, lapel pin, earring and other jewelry, bumper stickers, gravestones, worship building windows or rooftops, and from market place squares of Britain (for example) the market cross was placed prominently. Doubtless there are multiple meanings for the master craftsman who executed the object, for those paying for it or commissioning it, for those passing through, residing nearby, or doing business in its shadow. Pillars of society may see this as a reminder of doing righteous deeds, law breakers may consider the cross in a different light, some who suffer misfortune could have conflicted feelings to the place of God in their life experience, young people may wonder what it signifies, old or ill people feeling their mortality may wonder differently than the young people.

     So there are personal, family, business, community, and whole Christendom levels of meaning, as well as the inflections made by a person's denomination, perhaps. For those unversed in the culture and ways of Christians, and for those averse or rejecting it all, the crucifix may hardly be recognized in their mind's eye, self-image, or aspirations. But no matter the scale of meaning (individual versus group), no matter the physical form of the crucifix (Roman killing instrument for public humiliation and suffering), and no matter the circumstance in which it may be spotted, the question remains: what is it there for? What is being meant by it?

     Purposeful placement by seminary-trained persons could mean "this execution machine is our shared symbol from the beginning to show that death is overcome; that while living we have much good to do in God's name." Casual adornment in clothing or jewelry could mean "I am not shy about my fellowship with other Christians and my engagement with others who don't know The Way that Christ taught us," or instead it could simply mean "I belong with the team that means to do good and mostly tries to be righteous, so don't judge me." And when a local governing body decides to establish a public monument with crucifix or other Christian reference then perhaps the meaning is "we declare God's ever-watchful eye will reign over this bailliwick, so please do behave properly and follow all local ordinances." But in none of these imagined interpretations is there a direct expression of the message, "God loves you. Seek after God to find your own direction and support. Love one another as well as you regard your own self."

when the color drains from your world

The experience of receiving bad news, departing from health, or another crisis - personal or shared with others - can have the effect of turning one's vision from color to black and white; or from full surround-sound to mute. Everything is as before all around you. The birds flitter and chirrup, the cars move smoothly down the road, and the postal delivery comes through rain or shine. And yet one's own vision is altered. The reverse is also true: great joy turns up the volume on the music in one's heart; it makes the colors more vivid and the flavors richer.
       In the same way, waking up to the abiding presence of God in this creation can similarly alter one's vision. Knowing that God is in us and those around us, through daylight and darkness, in tempest and on fine days, gives some comfort and satisfaction. Suddenly the same old routines, interactions and verbal exchanges take on a precious sweetness or have the effect of a soothing balm. The imagery of a cool drink of water or a healthful meal with others captures this in-filling well-being that comes with the assurance of All is Well.
       In Dutch there is an expression for a person busy searching for something, while all the time it was there at hand, somehow overlooked, "hij zoekt zijn paard en hij zit er op" (He's looking for the horse, but he is sitting on it). Perhaps that is the experience of waking up to God's place in the wider world of all centuries, and God's place in our personal worlds, as well: already there, but waiting for each person to open her or his eyes to see the wonder of it all.

stumbling block or supporting structure - how your church fits you?

There is a delicate and living balance for each person to undertake between flow and control (the soccer referee analogy for officiating the game versus allowing play to carry on), or between fluency and accuracy (the foreign language learning analogy for stopping to look up each word, versus flowing along with some inaccuracies of hearing and speaking), or between knowledge and faith (the seminary analogy for those who overstudy the letter of the Bible versus the ones less well versed, but more in spirit of any given passage). In each instance one must find the sweet spot between too much structure, tradition, rules on the one hand and the absence of method, procedure, organization or structure on the other hand. Too much detail and structure can turn into obstacles that separate a person from seeking and loving God. Too little scaffolding or supporting structure can leave a person feeling in limbo; without direction or forward motion; without handholds or landmarks to steer by.

A similar balancing act on a very fine line is between socializing that is routine and comfortable, versus fellowship that is more purposive and geared to building rapport and trust enough to carry the weight of shared sorrow (or joy); that allows one person to open up to another and to express care. From the outside maybe it looks like the interactions of socializing and fellowship are indistinguishable, and yet what transpires in the heart may well be different.

Still another fine line separates the urge to make the public worship on Sundays as open and accessible to passers-by as possible (the door is open; the people are welcoming) and yet once on the road with Jesus and one's fellow travelers in righteousness, the "way is narrow" (or is it the gate is narrow?). That is to say, all are welcome, but the habits of a righteous heart can be exclusive and demanding; indeed few seem to follow fully or deeply for their long years.

In the end it is important for each person to discover how much structure and routine will guide them along their search for God's will and their love of fellow man. A church that creates obstacles and even stumbling blocks is not suitable for the person encumbered in such things. But those same conditions may well be the supporting structure that another person needs to grow strong in faith and deeds.

Your heart – muscle and interior life

Years ago there would be articles in the Reader's Digest with titles like, "I am Joe's kidney," told in the first person to acquaint readers with the structure and function of a particular organ. Thinking about parallels between one's heart as muscle (my heart is all aflutter) and as figurative center of being or mind (what I know is true in my heart of hearts), the following starter list comes to mind.*

1)      The muscles you use will grow stronger; the ones you don't use diminish. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual strength, it makes sense to exercise one's heart by actively seeking God's will, listening for opportunities to do God's work, and then to follow one's heart where it leads, including to places and words and deeds outside of one's normal.

2)      Muscle memory is the idea that overlearning, or over practicing, something will lead to a level of fluency and automaticity that one can perform instinctively when the need arises or when pressure increases. When your conscious mind knows not what to do, your muscle memory can perform flawlessly. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual expression, it makes sense to rehearse and exercise regularly so that the patterns and relationships built by religious discipline can function smoothly in good times as well as bad. For instance, memorizing verses, passages, Lord's Prayer, and so on means that these are available even when one is stuck or trapped in a corner.

3)      Relax when trying too hard so that the result is fluid and masterful. Many people will have the experience of racking their brains to remember a name or a certain word only to find that it comes to them sometime later, after they have stopped trying so hard. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual depth & knowing, it makes sense to exert oneself but not to expect the needed result until sometime later, when no longer applying deliberate force and effort to the matter. For example, pray hard and pray often, but expect the best chance of hearing a reply only later, after relaxing from the strain of trying so hard.

4)      "Flow" or "in the zone" refer to a level of fluidity, gracefulness, and seeming effortlessness in one's athletic expression or in creative endeavors. Everything just seems to click into place at the right time, in the right sequence, and in the right way. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual flow, it makes sense to repeat one's training, exercise, efforts so often that magical moments when all elements suddenly work together in harmonious result.

=-= *photo credit, creative commons, J. Trbovich

Bible Study – objects of worship; Sanhedrin programs; chronology of Jesus followers

Still in the book of Acts, as written by Luke, a number of tangents followed from the reading. One concerns the human hunger for the tangible and quantifiable. Our memories normally are tied to a location, a person, an event, or a thing. This attachment makes us conflate the meaning or significance with the physical fabric of some thing or some person. And yet, it is our hearts that God calls out to. It is our hearts that learn to respond to God’s nudges or prodding. It is not ritual objects, sets of rules, special words, or sacred elements that inherently confer righteousness. Instead it is what communicates to our hearts (by means of those materials and those moments). Even knowing this false equation of the physical traces to the Godly meanings, we still fall easily into that misapprehension and pour our energies into polishing the shiny objects, or uttering the special words reverently.

Another thread of tangent spun off from the confrontation of the Apostles with the Sanhedrin (Jewish authorities) who forbid the men from continuing to speak praises of (the crucified) Jesus. We talked about the hereditary line of Sadducees and the more recent line (and political movement) of Pharisees, and how both of them struggled to go on when the Temple later was destroyed in A.D. 70 by the Roman occupation forces when a few Jewish uprisings, the Zealots, and the dagger men (sacari) led to retribution. Where, then, did Paul (Saul) fit into the timeline? In order to picture the overlapping lives of Jesus, his Gospel writers, the disciples fanning out across the trade routes of the Mediterranean, and among these Paul, one can think of the Paul as a teenager, just coming into his studies with the master of Jewish law, Gamaliel, around the time of the public ministry of Jesus near the end of his earthly life. Then for a certain number of years Paul persecuted the emergent movement of Jesus followers in their contradiction to the Laws of Moses, despite the declared position of Jesus “not to abolish the Law, but to fulfill it.” Paul’s execution in Rome is estimated around A.D. 65 – 67. And so his awakening to the message of the Gospel could have been around A.D. 42, say, and his subsequent travels and epistles would then run more than 20 years.

It is marvelous to read the chapters of the Bible again, in the company of other curious minds, and to turn up ever more and different angles, connections to one’s own lived experience, or the questions that happen to be on one’s heart at the time we get together on a Tuesday morning around a pot or two of coffee.

What does the Christian adjective mean for products and services?

From time to time along the streets or on the highway billboards the word Christian is prefixed to a business or organization. There seem to be a couple of different meanings in the choice of this adjective instead of something possibly with similar meaning. The are Christian radio stations, Christian schools, Christian counseling services, but a look at the Internet for "Christian products" or "Christian service providers" or "Christian health care" will probably turn up other examples. Here is one from flickr.com "creative commons" https://www.flickr.com/photos/janetmck/1288328208

 Perhaps there are a few common denominators in all these or at least many of them, both for the person looking for a certain type of service or business, and for the person is offering same. In the eyes of the seeker, the word 'Christian' could stand for "I can trust that Worldly gain is not the primary driver" and "the people who will be serving me will take a personal and friendly interest in my welfare, so I can relax my normal cautiousness to trust all will be God's Will" and "I can expect some familiar Christian touch-points or common references such as music, symbols, calendar events, decorations, absence of crude language or personal displays." In such an environment, then, a seeker may feel free to express religious quotations, reasoning, or reflections. And by implication, all the many other competing businesses and services and products can be painted with the contrary brush to characterize them for deficiencies expected of the Christian ones.

Some of the same assumptions and intentions described above may also be in the mind of the provider of services and products where Christian is part of the business name, or is undeclared, but is signaled through prominent religious symbols, names, words, music and conversation elements. It is difficult to know if the balance of meaning is heavier on the heart of the seeker, or in the intentions of the business or professional who openly identifies in the Christian (or Jewish, or Hindu, or Buddhist, or Muslim?) label. In other words, rather than equally matching the business person's effort and purposes of living out their Christianity in the workplace relationships with the seeker's desire for providers and spaces where they can be among fellow believers/followers of the Jesus Christ model and redemption, perhaps seeing the label and expecting something different to ordinary commercial ways is more important to the seeker than to the provider; or the reverse, that for the business model and in the owner's eyes as well as those of the workers, perhaps being Christian in action, word, and thought is more strongly motivating than it is among the clients.

How ever far things have come from Jesus' time and place in the world. Now the traditions, teachings, and examples are studied and spoken and sometimes lived out across the planet. Far from being a persecuted fringe, ever since the time of the Roman Emperor adopting the Jesus movement as his own, the machinery and hierarchy has developed. And now in the age of capitalism there is a Christian layer, too. Perhaps Jesus would sign up for a loyalty card at a Christian Coffee House, attend Bible Study at a Brew-Pub, or shop online among places declaring they tithe each month's profit to a given cause. Then again, maybe Jesus would instead head to the hills for 40 days to reflect and cast off the consumer preoccupations and daily cares in order to leave some prime mental space for seeking God's word and will. No celebrity endorsement will likely to be forthcoming.

so many facets reflect in the morning light

At the Tuesday morning Men's Bible Study we pressed onward in the pages of Acts, chapter 2.

Normally we get through a good deal of a chapter each week, but sometimes there is so much tinder that we can start all sorts of fires to see the world by. This week was filled with conversations across diverse subjects: primary purpose of marriage (or is analytical ranking and splitting a legacy of the Greek system of thinking from long ago; whereas the truer grasp of the field of meaning is a totality, not distillable into isolated elements; perhaps marriage is a totality, not something with primary and secondary and terciary meanings or intentions), salvation (a New Testament preoccupation; but where are the analogs in Old Testament; or for that matter among today's Jews? Muslims?), new Christians who can handle 'the milk' but not 'the meat' yet (would it be meaningless to talk about Spiritual Maturity at the earliest opportunity, or just to bask in glory and comfort of the Holy Spirit), intersection of Spiritual Growth models to ones from Freud (ego, id, superego) and Jung (unconscious well of being), the tension of comprehending or even grasping at God's infinity versus the impossibility of doing so by mortals, taking God's name in vain (hitched to one's own purposes or claims). Other tangents escape me, now 36 hours later.

How do you spell Holy?

During college the power of word roots proved itself again and again. Raymond Williams' book, Keywords (middle 1970s) made a big impression, as did an article by the cultural anthropologist Victor Turner in studying ritual process and language. Turning to 'Holy' there are overlapping semantic fields and historical intersections with holy, whole, hale, heal, healthy, hallowed. In other words bodily health (or departure from same) has something to do with wholeness and holiness. There is a mind-body connection that many have seen with their own eyes.
     Taking a same word-root approach to righteousness, there is another string of words that shade from one into the other as they cross adjacent fields of meaning. The words true (as in truth; also as in straight line or in-tune), right, just, good, fair, and beautiful form a chain of meanings that touch on lexical terrain of geometrical angle, justice, aesthetics, morals, and godliness. So, at least in the case of English there is a chain that connects these foundations of human value and aspiration.
     It would be instructive to compare near neighboring languages of Dutch, French, but also Latin, Greek, Persian, Hindi; then jump to languages far from the Indo-European families such as Chinese, Indonesian, Korean, or a Polynesian, Australonesian, or Bantu set of terms.

How satisfied are you with your relationship with God and your neighbor?

Typically we judge things relative to others we know or to another reference group. And sometimes we compare ourselves with our own personal best - how well we do in reference to our capabilities. Occasionally we measure performance by an absolute or external yardstick in terms of quantitative figures or demonstrable results that are visible. In the case of your relationship to God and his children, it is possible to be ignorant of one's own capabilities; and it may be true that we know little of our peer group to reference things to. Looking at absolute measurements (how much money/time/talent donated may be difficult to accurately access, too. So it is very likely that most people who are reading these words will jumble all these viewpoints together to produce a simple thumbs up or down response.

     There is also the cognitive dissonance that comes from the gap between what we speak versus what our actions suggest. So while a person may self-report all sorts of things about their relationship past and present with God and with his own neighbors, a close look at actions and the things that preoccupy the person's waking mind will perhaps be the truest indicator of what takes up the most space in one's mind.

entitled to abundance versus enfranchised to partake of abundance

There are several pairs of words that illustrate an important distinction when getting to know God. The simplest is the old one about a glass half-empty versus half-full. The state of the volume of liquid is not in question, but its significance is diametrically opposite in the one interpretation versus the other. In a similar way the abundant life that God grants to all his children could be interpreted by some people to mean that there is some entitlement to good life, based on meritorious deeds or service or right-minded habits of thinking and exercises in spiritual discipline. But by accepting that God's grace means that nothing you do or fail to do will give you any more or any less of that goodness, then the interpretation can change from entitlement to enfranchisement; that is, rather than laboring under the feeling of deserving better (or worse) in one's life and the lives of those around oneself, the emphasis now is on being empowered and authorized to partake of all God's abundance, no longer as a reward for one's external (or the things in one's heart of hearts) life, but now to participate in the abundant life for internal delight and joy; as an expression of one's overflowing love.

     The same distinction of interpretations can be seen in the idea of "following Christ." Rather than to reduce the behaviors, habits, words and so on to conformity with others in the flock as a way to show to others one's congruence and uniformity, far better instead to follow as eager seeker; someone who joins the way forward not to imitate the others on the road, but because one is eager to find out what comes next when living the Christian Way. From the outside all those on this road may look like a flock moving down the road, but in the hearts of those walking the walk there are important differences between moving along as eager seeker versus moving along anxious not to stand out from the norm.

     The same distinction of interpretation can also be seen in the idea of God's love; a love not of ownership or control, but of growth and changes. Interpersonal love can easily become either eros [Greek for the physical, literal love] or philos [Greek for friendly love]. But God's love more accurately is agape love, the 'charity' in the triad of faith - hope - love/charity. Whereas the first two, mortal types, of love tend to close, make exclusive, define boundaries of control and expectation and care, the agape kind of love tends of open possibilities and release boundaries and controls. It is about growth and change, rather than containment and unchangingness.

     Still another pair of terms illustrates the contrasting interpretation: to know something [facts; the Spanish verb 'saber'] versus to know someone [character; the Spanish verb 'conocer']. While there are some overlapping senses of knowledge between the kind that controls and contains a subject on the one hand, and the kind that leads to new relationships and connections to one's own self. By extension from 'knowledge' to understanding, there is an important difference in interpretation for 'comprehend' versus 'understand'. A person can grasp something intellectually, but still not make sense of it. And the reverse could be true, too: implicitly seeing the sense of the matter but not necessarily comprehending how it is structured, how it all works (function; process), or it's meaning. To comprehend something carries the meaning of wrapping one's arms around a subject; containing, defining, dissecting, and generally mastering a thing at least in terms of structure and function. But to truly understand something there should be more depth and appreciation of the relationship of part to whole; and the intersections of one instance with another. To truly understand is to add the dimension of depth to the flat, 2-dimensional grasp of 'comprehending' a subject.

     In all these examples the common thread is that one perspective seeks to reduce, contain, close-off, and simplify (half-empty quantity of water in the proverbial glass, entitlement instead of enfranchisement, following the external features of Christianity not the internal character, love emanating from mortal foundations rather than limitless Godly sources, knowing the surfaces of things rather that the core). The other perspective does the opposite: widen the connections and meanings, supporting growth and mutual gain, stressing emerging possibilities, saying yes by default rather than no, being proactive instead of reactive.

But why does this subtle change in emphasis or attitude to a set of circumstances of the passage of life matter? Going back to the image of a glass half-empty versus half-full, one can imagine the different horizon that appears from the one set of assumptions versus the other. For the one fretting about the amount that remains, the road ahead is one of scarcity; resources should be guarded, potential involvements will be defended against, the default response to things arising on the way is 'no'. By contrast to the person seeing the glass half-full, there is little thought to what may come tomorrow, so long as there remains something for today. Life is full of possibilities to share, and to get involved with others. In place of a default 'no' response to opportunities and initiatives that life offers up the "half-full" person takes 'yes' as the default reply to these developments.

In conclusion, to fully embrace the life of abundance (of the heart, not necessarily of the body or other material indicators) given by God to all creatures, the subtle shift in interpretation illustrated here can lead to big differences in the life one lives. What one may give up is control, but what one my gain is grateful appreciation of the things that comes to one's world. Perhaps the grateful heart intersects with one of grace, gratis, gratitude; that is, maybe these word roots come from the same place.

the interplay of faith, hope, love

click for full size view

Translations vary from the Greek of the New (or 2nd) Testament verse, 1 Corinthians 13:13

νυνὶ δὲ μένει πίστις, ἐλπίς, ἀγάπη· τὰ τρία ταῦτα, μείζων δὲ τούτων ἡ ἀγάπη.

SBL Greek New Testament

faith =pistis, hope =elpis, love/charity =agapi
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
[New International Version] from biblegateway.com


But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.
[The Message] from biblegateway.com

So now, get three tings dat stay: we can trus God, an we can know everyting goin come out okay bumbye, an we get love an aloha. From da three tings, da love an aloha kine, dass da main ting, an da bestes way.
[Hawai‘i Pidgin] from biblegateway.com

But on the west wall of the First United Methodist Church (ZIP code 48879) the stained glass behind the altar gives the words Hope, Faith, and Charity, when reading from left to right. Looking at the visual representations we see anchor (hope), cross (faith), and Word of God (charity). By comparison, across the town square at the Congregational Church the south window shows an anchor with the text "hope" and on the opposite wall there is a cross with the text "faith," while at the altar there is a bare burnished cross with no words  printed. Perhaps the invisible "greatest of these" (love or charity) fills the space between the two wall; the place where the pews are lined up to face the altar.

Bible engagement with pencil and markers - marginalia and filtering the main themes/functions

Long ago Thomas Jefferson gave the world the result of his careful slicing of pages to reveal only direct quotation or speaking parts of Jesus; the Jefferson Bible. Since then others have sifted for particular words, responses to given circumstances and so on. And with digital versions and a fast computer it is possible to pore over the lines of a particular translation in search of specific points, phrases or passages.

click for full-size view of J.B. well traveled Bible, newly retired from the pulpit

The Men's Bible Study talked about Acts more recently in 2005. Now that our lives have moved along and the world has continued on its way, it seems time to pick up Luke's guide to Christ followers then and now.
The coloring on these particular pages refer to themes that come up again and again in the pages of the Bible such as promises, God's acts, warnings/consequences, precepts/prohibitions, etc. Some are doctrinal some are more about Christian living. A book well used will show lots of signs of engagement on the page like this!

in a nutshell - making a plan, but being ready to change it

Among the many paradoxes of God and the story of Jesus that baffle linear logic, there is the tension in the apparent contradiction of living your life according to your own plan (as in the bumper sticker, "God is MY co-pilot") and feeling in charge on most occasions, and a larger reality that mere mortals are not very much in charge of their lives (the other side of that bumper sticker could be stated, "God is MY pilot"). On the one hand it may feel trying hard to get a little ahead of peers or the previous generation is worthy and what grown-ups strive to do; but on the other hand, in the great cosmic sweep of changes, one's actions and intentions seem very small indeed. One may strive or one may relax into a rut, a life defined can be defined by achieving versus one consisting of being. Either way, though, God loves you; and you are in a position to love your neighbor (and to receive the love of one's neighbor). God's grace provides your entry into the Kingdom; it can't be bought or earned or argued.

Perhaps there is an easy way to illustrate this tension between being in charge of one's destiny and the opposite, just drifting along and calling the course of events God's will. Seasoned travelers (and sojourners on the road of life, as well) know to make plans and maybe even contingency plans, but then when opportunities arise or situations of value present themselves, then those same carefully crafted plans can be changed. Just so for a life well-lived: go ahead and dream dreams, make plans, and enjoy the satisfaction of achieving a project. But at the same time be alert for chances to change the plan, too. Amid the cresting waves of life, keep your surfboard close to hand and be ready to ride a wave that happens your way! That may be the sweetest treat - fulfilling one's plans, but also seizing chances that are emergent and unseen at a distance.

Prayer – active ingredients of praising God and expressing gratitude

Jesus models how to pray and gives us the Lord's Prayer, as well. There are several varieties of prayer. Perhaps the "petitionary prayer" (making a request) is the most common, though. No matter the sort of prayer, when one engages daily or more often with God in one's heart, there should be an element of praise and thanks. Thinking about why this should be so, apart from Jesus setting this model, maybe it has to do with the orientation, posture or attitude that comes from expressing praise (one of reaching upward in worshipful stance, literally 'worth ship' or highly valued) and from pouring out gratitude (an embrace without defensiveness or justification, but rather breathing is a sense of unconditional receptivity to what is being given).

In other words, by approaching the time of prayer in a spirit of laud and eager expectation (praise) and holding one's heart in a position of openness, ready to receive or having already gladly received God's blessing, then one is truly cultivating a prayerful habit of growth, humility, and service to God and to one's neighbors, whether the person is "the least of these" or the opposite, abundant in blessedness, both visible and unseen.

obedience - in the heart

There is the important distinction between the letter of the Law and the spirit of the Law; the declaration by Jesus of Nazareth that he comes not to discard the Law, but to fulfill it. And there is the commandment to obey one's parents. In all these cases one's compliance is not simply an external, visible expression of respecting Human Institutions. Rather, this heart of obedience is a deeper thing; something that softens one's heart and breaks the hard shell of arrogance or certainty in one's own merit and the fruits of one's own efforts. Think also of the meaning of "meek" as in The Meek Shall Inherit the Kingdom. Weak, pliable, compliant is not the heart of the matter; rather it is strength that is under control - or is under the direction of Father-Mother God instead of one's own will or the will of one's socially higher in (worldly) status.
     In both instances - meekness, or obedience - the key is one's attitude; what is inside; one's intentionality or purpose; what one means when moving through life's seasons and engaging with one's fellows. Obedience unto the cross is the example set by brother Jesus. Obedience is not for show or example to one's fellows in the first instance (although maybe the ripples it makes do also have benefit). Instead obedience is for one's heart; it is a means rather than ends; it is a formative rather than summative evaluation.