Prayer vigil at a time of distress

lots of aids for use of those taking a rotation in the 24 hour vigil at church for World and selves

The past weeks have brought horrible deaths and destruction by deliberate actions of rudderless individual actors, sometimes loosely affiliating with larger philosophies, but in no way part of God's being in the world: murder of police while they serve the public, killing of the public by police, massacre at gay nightclub Pulse in Orlando, mass killing to instill terror in France, Iraq, Syria, Bangladesh; the unrest in Venezuela's crumbling social order are among those instances we are told about by the news media. So a few people at church proposed that we organize a 24 hour cycle of praying to dwell on this World and God's peace, mercy, love, and justice within it. Typically we do this every year or two ad hoc, as our times require; although across the town square the Catholic brothers and sisters schedule this work once a month.

The 5 to 7 a.m. slots were quiet and bridged the dark of a summer night to the soft light of morning's rise. The photo shows some of the results from the previous 15 hours: large sheets with images, passages, exhortation - some sheets covered on both sides, but not signed. The altar bible dates from the 1950s, before the New International Version [NIV] was first printed. It is opened to Proverbs 2 and includes the verses 20-22: 

Thus you will walk in the ways of the good
    and keep to the paths of the righteous.
For the upright will live in the land,
    and the blameless will remain in it;

but the wicked will be cut off from the land,
    and the unfaithful will be torn from it.

On the floor is a pew Bible in the NIV translation, opened to Psalm 17 and 18.

Keep me as the apple of your eye;
    hide me in the shadow of your wings
from the wicked who are out to destroy me,
    from my mortal enemies who surround me.
They close up their callous hearts,
    and their mouths speak with arrogance [Ps 17:8-10]

As well, in reciting something like a cantor, Psalm 9 stood out:

Rise up, O Lord! Do not let mortals prevail;
    let the nations be judged before you.
Put them in fear, O Lord;
    let the nations know that they are only human. Selah [Ps 9:19-20 NRSV]

No formal advice was given to those giving their prayers, alone or in pairs, during the 24 hours.

Besides reading prayers from book or other printed page, reciting by heart, or composing extemporaneously, one could sing or speak the lyrics from a hymnal or in one's heart. Walking meditation helps some people focus their mind, as does visual expression on paper in some other people. Votive candles were lit for contemplation of the element of fire to hearken to God's presence and being (warmth, illumination, but also destruction and purification). The physical space of the worship area itself can lend inspiration or memories for some prayer makers, as does the contemplative CD recordings and selected books near the altar. The facts of posture (seated, prostrate, standing, arms akimbo or to the sides or palms help up or arms in exhortation), breathing, and movement (normal, slowed, glacial) can be another device to focus the mind and articulate the heart's desire. Verbal expression could be written from one's mind or copied from a source passage; spoken in big voice, conversational voice, or sotto voce. And inaudible recitation of prayer, even without words at all is possible, as is song as hummed or articulated.

By the middle of the 2nd hour, I had run through several of the expressions, above, and arrived at some sort of conclusion with regard to the subject of "distress in our people at home and abroad." As the minutes passed my distractable mind slowed its pace, made itself to feel at home in this setting, and got down to the work of focusing and listening. Eventually I got past the headlines and reportorial, high altitude perspective and began to imagine the personal scale of events; the lives extinguished and  the families, friends, co-workers left behind.

My prayer concept gradually emerged: that evil doers (yes, we also do pray God's love for them) and those preparing to do fresh evil may be overcome with a dread sense of weariness with their world and thereby would pause in their preparations and perverse goals long enough to cast aside the evil of their own accord: let there be heavy weariness upon the evil doers. And for those bereft of their loved one, left bereaved: let there be comfort and even forgiveness to forestall any self-blame or second-guessing themselves. As for those striving to do God's will, no matter if rain or shine: let there be fortitude and integrity that shines brightly for all to know.

And God's grace and presence; how to find it amid the confusion, contradictory messages, and preoccupations of mobile, digitally distracted daily living? The answer from this vigil seems to lie in the 5 senses. The full spectrum sunlight, silvery moonlight, or deep shadows all engage our visual receptors and express God's being visually. Sounds, rhythms and words all populate the audio field we live and work in. The same awareness of God in the sense of touch, smell, and taste can be made. By quieting one's heart, emptying one's hands and draining one's oversize ego, then the amplified sense of God occupying the physicality of our days comes to be a source of comfort. When seeking after God, just take a deep breath and then examine the 5 senses; not in the everyday, familiar way, but in a sharpened, amplified way: slowed down, turned up, maximized attention and delight. When you dwell in these, you are abiding in God's presence.

Finally the 5 a.m. to 7 a.m. rotation for this prayer vigil came to an end and the next folks walked into the sanctuary space to take a turn. Perhaps the chain of people praying up until now did not materially alter the world, but probably their efforts did touch their own hearts and align their head and heart to make some sense of the past few weeks of destruction and death.

public cross - what's it there for?

Crucifix can be on T-shirts, lapel pin, earring and other jewelry, bumper stickers, gravestones, worship building windows or rooftops, and from market place squares of Britain (for example) the market cross was placed prominently. Doubtless there are multiple meanings for the master craftsman who executed the object, for those paying for it or commissioning it, for those passing through, residing nearby, or doing business in its shadow. Pillars of society may see this as a reminder of doing righteous deeds, law breakers may consider the cross in a different light, some who suffer misfortune could have conflicted feelings to the place of God in their life experience, young people may wonder what it signifies, old or ill people feeling their mortality may wonder differently than the young people.

     So there are personal, family, business, community, and whole Christendom levels of meaning, as well as the inflections made by a person's denomination, perhaps. For those unversed in the culture and ways of Christians, and for those averse or rejecting it all, the crucifix may hardly be recognized in their mind's eye, self-image, or aspirations. But no matter the scale of meaning (individual versus group), no matter the physical form of the crucifix (Roman killing instrument for public humiliation and suffering), and no matter the circumstance in which it may be spotted, the question remains: what is it there for? What is being meant by it?

     Purposeful placement by seminary-trained persons could mean "this execution machine is our shared symbol from the beginning to show that death is overcome; that while living we have much good to do in God's name." Casual adornment in clothing or jewelry could mean "I am not shy about my fellowship with other Christians and my engagement with others who don't know The Way that Christ taught us," or instead it could simply mean "I belong with the team that means to do good and mostly tries to be righteous, so don't judge me." And when a local governing body decides to establish a public monument with crucifix or other Christian reference then perhaps the meaning is "we declare God's ever-watchful eye will reign over this bailliwick, so please do behave properly and follow all local ordinances." But in none of these imagined interpretations is there a direct expression of the message, "God loves you. Seek after God to find your own direction and support. Love one another as well as you regard your own self."

when the color drains from your world

The experience of receiving bad news, departing from health, or another crisis - personal or shared with others - can have the effect of turning one's vision from color to black and white; or from full surround-sound to mute. Everything is as before all around you. The birds flitter and chirrup, the cars move smoothly down the road, and the postal delivery comes through rain or shine. And yet one's own vision is altered. The reverse is also true: great joy turns up the volume on the music in one's heart; it makes the colors more vivid and the flavors richer.
       In the same way, waking up to the abiding presence of God in this creation can similarly alter one's vision. Knowing that God is in us and those around us, through daylight and darkness, in tempest and on fine days, gives some comfort and satisfaction. Suddenly the same old routines, interactions and verbal exchanges take on a precious sweetness or have the effect of a soothing balm. The imagery of a cool drink of water or a healthful meal with others captures this in-filling well-being that comes with the assurance of All is Well.
       In Dutch there is an expression for a person busy searching for something, while all the time it was there at hand, somehow overlooked, "hij zoekt zijn paard en hij zit er op" (He's looking for the horse, but he is sitting on it). Perhaps that is the experience of waking up to God's place in the wider world of all centuries, and God's place in our personal worlds, as well: already there, but waiting for each person to open her or his eyes to see the wonder of it all.

stumbling block or supporting structure - how your church fits you?

There is a delicate and living balance for each person to undertake between flow and control (the soccer referee analogy for officiating the game versus allowing play to carry on), or between fluency and accuracy (the foreign language learning analogy for stopping to look up each word, versus flowing along with some inaccuracies of hearing and speaking), or between knowledge and faith (the seminary analogy for those who overstudy the letter of the Bible versus the ones less well versed, but more in spirit of any given passage). In each instance one must find the sweet spot between too much structure, tradition, rules on the one hand and the absence of method, procedure, organization or structure on the other hand. Too much detail and structure can turn into obstacles that separate a person from seeking and loving God. Too little scaffolding or supporting structure can leave a person feeling in limbo; without direction or forward motion; without handholds or landmarks to steer by.

A similar balancing act on a very fine line is between socializing that is routine and comfortable, versus fellowship that is more purposive and geared to building rapport and trust enough to carry the weight of shared sorrow (or joy); that allows one person to open up to another and to express care. From the outside maybe it looks like the interactions of socializing and fellowship are indistinguishable, and yet what transpires in the heart may well be different.

Still another fine line separates the urge to make the public worship on Sundays as open and accessible to passers-by as possible (the door is open; the people are welcoming) and yet once on the road with Jesus and one's fellow travelers in righteousness, the "way is narrow" (or is it the gate is narrow?). That is to say, all are welcome, but the habits of a righteous heart can be exclusive and demanding; indeed few seem to follow fully or deeply for their long years.

In the end it is important for each person to discover how much structure and routine will guide them along their search for God's will and their love of fellow man. A church that creates obstacles and even stumbling blocks is not suitable for the person encumbered in such things. But those same conditions may well be the supporting structure that another person needs to grow strong in faith and deeds.

Your heart – muscle and interior life

Years ago there would be articles in the Reader's Digest with titles like, "I am Joe's kidney," told in the first person to acquaint readers with the structure and function of a particular organ. Thinking about parallels between one's heart as muscle (my heart is all aflutter) and as figurative center of being or mind (what I know is true in my heart of hearts), the following starter list comes to mind.*

1)      The muscles you use will grow stronger; the ones you don't use diminish. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual strength, it makes sense to exercise one's heart by actively seeking God's will, listening for opportunities to do God's work, and then to follow one's heart where it leads, including to places and words and deeds outside of one's normal.

2)      Muscle memory is the idea that overlearning, or over practicing, something will lead to a level of fluency and automaticity that one can perform instinctively when the need arises or when pressure increases. When your conscious mind knows not what to do, your muscle memory can perform flawlessly. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual expression, it makes sense to rehearse and exercise regularly so that the patterns and relationships built by religious discipline can function smoothly in good times as well as bad. For instance, memorizing verses, passages, Lord's Prayer, and so on means that these are available even when one is stuck or trapped in a corner.

3)      Relax when trying too hard so that the result is fluid and masterful. Many people will have the experience of racking their brains to remember a name or a certain word only to find that it comes to them sometime later, after they have stopped trying so hard. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual depth & knowing, it makes sense to exert oneself but not to expect the needed result until sometime later, when no longer applying deliberate force and effort to the matter. For example, pray hard and pray often, but expect the best chance of hearing a reply only later, after relaxing from the strain of trying so hard.

4)      "Flow" or "in the zone" refer to a level of fluidity, gracefulness, and seeming effortlessness in one's athletic expression or in creative endeavors. Everything just seems to click into place at the right time, in the right sequence, and in the right way. Thinking now of the meaning of this observation for one's spiritual flow, it makes sense to repeat one's training, exercise, efforts so often that magical moments when all elements suddenly work together in harmonious result.

=-= *photo credit, creative commons, J. Trbovich

Bible Study – objects of worship; Sanhedrin programs; chronology of Jesus followers

Still in the book of Acts, as written by Luke, a number of tangents followed from the reading. One concerns the human hunger for the tangible and quantifiable. Our memories normally are tied to a location, a person, an event, or a thing. This attachment makes us conflate the meaning or significance with the physical fabric of some thing or some person. And yet, it is our hearts that God calls out to. It is our hearts that learn to respond to God’s nudges or prodding. It is not ritual objects, sets of rules, special words, or sacred elements that inherently confer righteousness. Instead it is what communicates to our hearts (by means of those materials and those moments). Even knowing this false equation of the physical traces to the Godly meanings, we still fall easily into that misapprehension and pour our energies into polishing the shiny objects, or uttering the special words reverently.

Another thread of tangent spun off from the confrontation of the Apostles with the Sanhedrin (Jewish authorities) who forbid the men from continuing to speak praises of (the crucified) Jesus. We talked about the hereditary line of Sadducees and the more recent line (and political movement) of Pharisees, and how both of them struggled to go on when the Temple later was destroyed in A.D. 70 by the Roman occupation forces when a few Jewish uprisings, the Zealots, and the dagger men (sacari) led to retribution. Where, then, did Paul (Saul) fit into the timeline? In order to picture the overlapping lives of Jesus, his Gospel writers, the disciples fanning out across the trade routes of the Mediterranean, and among these Paul, one can think of the Paul as a teenager, just coming into his studies with the master of Jewish law, Gamaliel, around the time of the public ministry of Jesus near the end of his earthly life. Then for a certain number of years Paul persecuted the emergent movement of Jesus followers in their contradiction to the Laws of Moses, despite the declared position of Jesus “not to abolish the Law, but to fulfill it.” Paul’s execution in Rome is estimated around A.D. 65 – 67. And so his awakening to the message of the Gospel could have been around A.D. 42, say, and his subsequent travels and epistles would then run more than 20 years.

It is marvelous to read the chapters of the Bible again, in the company of other curious minds, and to turn up ever more and different angles, connections to one’s own lived experience, or the questions that happen to be on one’s heart at the time we get together on a Tuesday morning around a pot or two of coffee.

What does the Christian adjective mean for products and services?

From time to time along the streets or on the highway billboards the word Christian is prefixed to a business or organization. There seem to be a couple of different meanings in the choice of this adjective instead of something possibly with similar meaning. The are Christian radio stations, Christian schools, Christian counseling services, but a look at the Internet for "Christian products" or "Christian service providers" or "Christian health care" will probably turn up other examples. Here is one from flickr.com "creative commons" https://www.flickr.com/photos/janetmck/1288328208

 Perhaps there are a few common denominators in all these or at least many of them, both for the person looking for a certain type of service or business, and for the person is offering same. In the eyes of the seeker, the word 'Christian' could stand for "I can trust that Worldly gain is not the primary driver" and "the people who will be serving me will take a personal and friendly interest in my welfare, so I can relax my normal cautiousness to trust all will be God's Will" and "I can expect some familiar Christian touch-points or common references such as music, symbols, calendar events, decorations, absence of crude language or personal displays." In such an environment, then, a seeker may feel free to express religious quotations, reasoning, or reflections. And by implication, all the many other competing businesses and services and products can be painted with the contrary brush to characterize them for deficiencies expected of the Christian ones.

Some of the same assumptions and intentions described above may also be in the mind of the provider of services and products where Christian is part of the business name, or is undeclared, but is signaled through prominent religious symbols, names, words, music and conversation elements. It is difficult to know if the balance of meaning is heavier on the heart of the seeker, or in the intentions of the business or professional who openly identifies in the Christian (or Jewish, or Hindu, or Buddhist, or Muslim?) label. In other words, rather than equally matching the business person's effort and purposes of living out their Christianity in the workplace relationships with the seeker's desire for providers and spaces where they can be among fellow believers/followers of the Jesus Christ model and redemption, perhaps seeing the label and expecting something different to ordinary commercial ways is more important to the seeker than to the provider; or the reverse, that for the business model and in the owner's eyes as well as those of the workers, perhaps being Christian in action, word, and thought is more strongly motivating than it is among the clients.

How ever far things have come from Jesus' time and place in the world. Now the traditions, teachings, and examples are studied and spoken and sometimes lived out across the planet. Far from being a persecuted fringe, ever since the time of the Roman Emperor adopting the Jesus movement as his own, the machinery and hierarchy has developed. And now in the age of capitalism there is a Christian layer, too. Perhaps Jesus would sign up for a loyalty card at a Christian Coffee House, attend Bible Study at a Brew-Pub, or shop online among places declaring they tithe each month's profit to a given cause. Then again, maybe Jesus would instead head to the hills for 40 days to reflect and cast off the consumer preoccupations and daily cares in order to leave some prime mental space for seeking God's word and will. No celebrity endorsement will likely to be forthcoming.

so many facets reflect in the morning light

At the Tuesday morning Men's Bible Study we pressed onward in the pages of Acts, chapter 2.

Normally we get through a good deal of a chapter each week, but sometimes there is so much tinder that we can start all sorts of fires to see the world by. This week was filled with conversations across diverse subjects: primary purpose of marriage (or is analytical ranking and splitting a legacy of the Greek system of thinking from long ago; whereas the truer grasp of the field of meaning is a totality, not distillable into isolated elements; perhaps marriage is a totality, not something with primary and secondary and terciary meanings or intentions), salvation (a New Testament preoccupation; but where are the analogs in Old Testament; or for that matter among today's Jews? Muslims?), new Christians who can handle 'the milk' but not 'the meat' yet (would it be meaningless to talk about Spiritual Maturity at the earliest opportunity, or just to bask in glory and comfort of the Holy Spirit), intersection of Spiritual Growth models to ones from Freud (ego, id, superego) and Jung (unconscious well of being), the tension of comprehending or even grasping at God's infinity versus the impossibility of doing so by mortals, taking God's name in vain (hitched to one's own purposes or claims). Other tangents escape me, now 36 hours later.

How do you spell Holy?

During college the power of word roots proved itself again and again. Raymond Williams' book, Keywords (middle 1970s) made a big impression, as did an article by the cultural anthropologist Victor Turner in studying ritual process and language. Turning to 'Holy' there are overlapping semantic fields and historical intersections with holy, whole, hale, heal, healthy, hallowed. In other words bodily health (or departure from same) has something to do with wholeness and holiness. There is a mind-body connection that many have seen with their own eyes.
     Taking a same word-root approach to righteousness, there is another string of words that shade from one into the other as they cross adjacent fields of meaning. The words true (as in truth; also as in straight line or in-tune), right, just, good, fair, and beautiful form a chain of meanings that touch on lexical terrain of geometrical angle, justice, aesthetics, morals, and godliness. So, at least in the case of English there is a chain that connects these foundations of human value and aspiration.
     It would be instructive to compare near neighboring languages of Dutch, French, but also Latin, Greek, Persian, Hindi; then jump to languages far from the Indo-European families such as Chinese, Indonesian, Korean, or a Polynesian, Australonesian, or Bantu set of terms.

How satisfied are you with your relationship with God and your neighbor?

Typically we judge things relative to others we know or to another reference group. And sometimes we compare ourselves with our own personal best - how well we do in reference to our capabilities. Occasionally we measure performance by an absolute or external yardstick in terms of quantitative figures or demonstrable results that are visible. In the case of your relationship to God and his children, it is possible to be ignorant of one's own capabilities; and it may be true that we know little of our peer group to reference things to. Looking at absolute measurements (how much money/time/talent donated may be difficult to accurately access, too. So it is very likely that most people who are reading these words will jumble all these viewpoints together to produce a simple thumbs up or down response.

     There is also the cognitive dissonance that comes from the gap between what we speak versus what our actions suggest. So while a person may self-report all sorts of things about their relationship past and present with God and with his own neighbors, a close look at actions and the things that preoccupy the person's waking mind will perhaps be the truest indicator of what takes up the most space in one's mind.

entitled to abundance versus enfranchised to partake of abundance

There are several pairs of words that illustrate an important distinction when getting to know God. The simplest is the old one about a glass half-empty versus half-full. The state of the volume of liquid is not in question, but its significance is diametrically opposite in the one interpretation versus the other. In a similar way the abundant life that God grants to all his children could be interpreted by some people to mean that there is some entitlement to good life, based on meritorious deeds or service or right-minded habits of thinking and exercises in spiritual discipline. But by accepting that God's grace means that nothing you do or fail to do will give you any more or any less of that goodness, then the interpretation can change from entitlement to enfranchisement; that is, rather than laboring under the feeling of deserving better (or worse) in one's life and the lives of those around oneself, the emphasis now is on being empowered and authorized to partake of all God's abundance, no longer as a reward for one's external (or the things in one's heart of hearts) life, but now to participate in the abundant life for internal delight and joy; as an expression of one's overflowing love.

     The same distinction of interpretations can be seen in the idea of "following Christ." Rather than to reduce the behaviors, habits, words and so on to conformity with others in the flock as a way to show to others one's congruence and uniformity, far better instead to follow as eager seeker; someone who joins the way forward not to imitate the others on the road, but because one is eager to find out what comes next when living the Christian Way. From the outside all those on this road may look like a flock moving down the road, but in the hearts of those walking the walk there are important differences between moving along as eager seeker versus moving along anxious not to stand out from the norm.

     The same distinction of interpretation can also be seen in the idea of God's love; a love not of ownership or control, but of growth and changes. Interpersonal love can easily become either eros [Greek for the physical, literal love] or philos [Greek for friendly love]. But God's love more accurately is agape love, the 'charity' in the triad of faith - hope - love/charity. Whereas the first two, mortal types, of love tend to close, make exclusive, define boundaries of control and expectation and care, the agape kind of love tends of open possibilities and release boundaries and controls. It is about growth and change, rather than containment and unchangingness.

     Still another pair of terms illustrates the contrasting interpretation: to know something [facts; the Spanish verb 'saber'] versus to know someone [character; the Spanish verb 'conocer']. While there are some overlapping senses of knowledge between the kind that controls and contains a subject on the one hand, and the kind that leads to new relationships and connections to one's own self. By extension from 'knowledge' to understanding, there is an important difference in interpretation for 'comprehend' versus 'understand'. A person can grasp something intellectually, but still not make sense of it. And the reverse could be true, too: implicitly seeing the sense of the matter but not necessarily comprehending how it is structured, how it all works (function; process), or it's meaning. To comprehend something carries the meaning of wrapping one's arms around a subject; containing, defining, dissecting, and generally mastering a thing at least in terms of structure and function. But to truly understand something there should be more depth and appreciation of the relationship of part to whole; and the intersections of one instance with another. To truly understand is to add the dimension of depth to the flat, 2-dimensional grasp of 'comprehending' a subject.

     In all these examples the common thread is that one perspective seeks to reduce, contain, close-off, and simplify (half-empty quantity of water in the proverbial glass, entitlement instead of enfranchisement, following the external features of Christianity not the internal character, love emanating from mortal foundations rather than limitless Godly sources, knowing the surfaces of things rather that the core). The other perspective does the opposite: widen the connections and meanings, supporting growth and mutual gain, stressing emerging possibilities, saying yes by default rather than no, being proactive instead of reactive.

But why does this subtle change in emphasis or attitude to a set of circumstances of the passage of life matter? Going back to the image of a glass half-empty versus half-full, one can imagine the different horizon that appears from the one set of assumptions versus the other. For the one fretting about the amount that remains, the road ahead is one of scarcity; resources should be guarded, potential involvements will be defended against, the default response to things arising on the way is 'no'. By contrast to the person seeing the glass half-full, there is little thought to what may come tomorrow, so long as there remains something for today. Life is full of possibilities to share, and to get involved with others. In place of a default 'no' response to opportunities and initiatives that life offers up the "half-full" person takes 'yes' as the default reply to these developments.

In conclusion, to fully embrace the life of abundance (of the heart, not necessarily of the body or other material indicators) given by God to all creatures, the subtle shift in interpretation illustrated here can lead to big differences in the life one lives. What one may give up is control, but what one my gain is grateful appreciation of the things that comes to one's world. Perhaps the grateful heart intersects with one of grace, gratis, gratitude; that is, maybe these word roots come from the same place.

the interplay of faith, hope, love

click for full size view

Translations vary from the Greek of the New (or 2nd) Testament verse, 1 Corinthians 13:13

νυνὶ δὲ μένει πίστις, ἐλπίς, ἀγάπη· τὰ τρία ταῦτα, μείζων δὲ τούτων ἡ ἀγάπη.

SBL Greek New Testament

faith =pistis, hope =elpis, love/charity =agapi
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
[New International Version] from biblegateway.com


But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.
[The Message] from biblegateway.com

So now, get three tings dat stay: we can trus God, an we can know everyting goin come out okay bumbye, an we get love an aloha. From da three tings, da love an aloha kine, dass da main ting, an da bestes way.
[Hawai‘i Pidgin] from biblegateway.com

But on the west wall of the First United Methodist Church (ZIP code 48879) the stained glass behind the altar gives the words Hope, Faith, and Charity, when reading from left to right. Looking at the visual representations we see anchor (hope), cross (faith), and Word of God (charity). By comparison, across the town square at the Congregational Church the south window shows an anchor with the text "hope" and on the opposite wall there is a cross with the text "faith," while at the altar there is a bare burnished cross with no words  printed. Perhaps the invisible "greatest of these" (love or charity) fills the space between the two wall; the place where the pews are lined up to face the altar.

Bible engagement with pencil and markers - marginalia and filtering the main themes/functions

Long ago Thomas Jefferson gave the world the result of his careful slicing of pages to reveal only direct quotation or speaking parts of Jesus; the Jefferson Bible. Since then others have sifted for particular words, responses to given circumstances and so on. And with digital versions and a fast computer it is possible to pore over the lines of a particular translation in search of specific points, phrases or passages.

click for full-size view of J.B. well traveled Bible, newly retired from the pulpit

The Men's Bible Study talked about Acts more recently in 2005. Now that our lives have moved along and the world has continued on its way, it seems time to pick up Luke's guide to Christ followers then and now.
The coloring on these particular pages refer to themes that come up again and again in the pages of the Bible such as promises, God's acts, warnings/consequences, precepts/prohibitions, etc. Some are doctrinal some are more about Christian living. A book well used will show lots of signs of engagement on the page like this!

in a nutshell - making a plan, but being ready to change it

Among the many paradoxes of God and the story of Jesus that baffle linear logic, there is the tension in the apparent contradiction of living your life according to your own plan (as in the bumper sticker, "God is MY co-pilot") and feeling in charge on most occasions, and a larger reality that mere mortals are not very much in charge of their lives (the other side of that bumper sticker could be stated, "God is MY pilot"). On the one hand it may feel trying hard to get a little ahead of peers or the previous generation is worthy and what grown-ups strive to do; but on the other hand, in the great cosmic sweep of changes, one's actions and intentions seem very small indeed. One may strive or one may relax into a rut, a life defined can be defined by achieving versus one consisting of being. Either way, though, God loves you; and you are in a position to love your neighbor (and to receive the love of one's neighbor). God's grace provides your entry into the Kingdom; it can't be bought or earned or argued.

Perhaps there is an easy way to illustrate this tension between being in charge of one's destiny and the opposite, just drifting along and calling the course of events God's will. Seasoned travelers (and sojourners on the road of life, as well) know to make plans and maybe even contingency plans, but then when opportunities arise or situations of value present themselves, then those same carefully crafted plans can be changed. Just so for a life well-lived: go ahead and dream dreams, make plans, and enjoy the satisfaction of achieving a project. But at the same time be alert for chances to change the plan, too. Amid the cresting waves of life, keep your surfboard close to hand and be ready to ride a wave that happens your way! That may be the sweetest treat - fulfilling one's plans, but also seizing chances that are emergent and unseen at a distance.

Prayer – active ingredients of praising God and expressing gratitude

Jesus models how to pray and gives us the Lord's Prayer, as well. There are several varieties of prayer. Perhaps the "petitionary prayer" (making a request) is the most common, though. No matter the sort of prayer, when one engages daily or more often with God in one's heart, there should be an element of praise and thanks. Thinking about why this should be so, apart from Jesus setting this model, maybe it has to do with the orientation, posture or attitude that comes from expressing praise (one of reaching upward in worshipful stance, literally 'worth ship' or highly valued) and from pouring out gratitude (an embrace without defensiveness or justification, but rather breathing is a sense of unconditional receptivity to what is being given).

In other words, by approaching the time of prayer in a spirit of laud and eager expectation (praise) and holding one's heart in a position of openness, ready to receive or having already gladly received God's blessing, then one is truly cultivating a prayerful habit of growth, humility, and service to God and to one's neighbors, whether the person is "the least of these" or the opposite, abundant in blessedness, both visible and unseen.

obedience - in the heart

There is the important distinction between the letter of the Law and the spirit of the Law; the declaration by Jesus of Nazareth that he comes not to discard the Law, but to fulfill it. And there is the commandment to obey one's parents. In all these cases one's compliance is not simply an external, visible expression of respecting Human Institutions. Rather, this heart of obedience is a deeper thing; something that softens one's heart and breaks the hard shell of arrogance or certainty in one's own merit and the fruits of one's own efforts. Think also of the meaning of "meek" as in The Meek Shall Inherit the Kingdom. Weak, pliable, compliant is not the heart of the matter; rather it is strength that is under control - or is under the direction of Father-Mother God instead of one's own will or the will of one's socially higher in (worldly) status.
     In both instances - meekness, or obedience - the key is one's attitude; what is inside; one's intentionality or purpose; what one means when moving through life's seasons and engaging with one's fellows. Obedience unto the cross is the example set by brother Jesus. Obedience is not for show or example to one's fellows in the first instance (although maybe the ripples it makes do also have benefit). Instead obedience is for one's heart; it is a means rather than ends; it is a formative rather than summative evaluation.

stark beauty - communion and praying

As part of this year's celebration of the Advent season we are offering communion every week, rather than the normal 6 week rotation or so. This time we were asked to take the elements by "intinction" (tear piece of bread to dip into the cup on your own at the communion table standing at the front of the church).  The bread and cup were at the far end of the table and a handmade light quilt or prayer shawl was draped on the near end. As each person approached the table they were asked to make a prayer for our music direction who was scheduled for surgery the following morning. To tie the silent prayer onto the fabric, each person was to select a tassle and form a knot at the end of their prayer.
       During this process our music director sat at the piano and played in the silence of the people standing in line, bathed in the morning sun steaming through the south-facing wall of stained glass. The effect was stark beauty, since the slow but tuneful music sounded each note in crystal clear tones and the palpable concentration on the table, the "cleansing of one's heart" by taking the communion, and forming a meaningful and sincerely prayer for our young music director all combined to intensify the sound of the music in the room of sunlight. It was somehow similar to an imaginary feeling of nearly all the air leaving the room; or another image: the intense focus of a calligraphy with inked horsehair brush making the first stroke on a sheet of thick, absorbent handmade paper.
       Truly the combined force of sincere and focused prayers in the aggregate is a powerful thing.

...was blind, but now I see? St. Exupery?

Physically one's eyesight tends toward farsightedness (presby-opia) around 49-51 years old. Socially, too, one's vision tends to lose some of the close-up powers of focus. But there is some compensation for weaker acuity that comes from stronger vision of the whole - the ability to see a few steps ahead in the game, or possibly years into the future course of events. Perhaps this same shift in vision also occurs in spiritual maturity?
     One of the piercing statements in the dialog between The Little Prince and his Fox comes around page 40 of the paperback edition in which we read,

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
 or on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux. [Ch. 21]

or But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart
    Mais les yeux sont aveugles. Il faut chercher avec le cœur. [Ch. 25]

Back when John Newton set his words to a familiar melody to give us Amazing Grace, the meaning seemed clear enough: he was lost and foundering in a sea of Worldly pressures, assumptions, depravities, and cruelty. And yet, by God's grace, all that washed away to give him a new vision; fresh eyes. He gave up his post as slave ship captain. Along with heightened perception -seeing what was overlooked before, there comes a certain illumination that is cast from one's growing faith; the idea that even without (visual) certainty one may proceed, know there is meaning and value and worth in the steps one takes and the aspirations one reaches toward.
     And so, as I venture further along the faith road, my appetite for knowing and hunger for wisdom continue to be health. But at the same time, I see more and more that was is essential cannot be known in one's head, or possibly even in one's hands or actions. What matters most is the shape taken by your heart in the transformation from savvy consumer to vigilant seeker of God on Earth. In other words, weaker vision and less insistent knowing seems to go with age, but it also seems to go with deeper faith; guided not by light alone, but by one's heart.

2 Thessalonians - bringing it back to life

Men's Bible study today wrapped up Paul's letter to the new Christians he met and led for 3 weeks in Thessalonika so many generations ago (if 500 years is about 20 generations, then 2000 years ago is about 80 generations ago). Coming off the street in the predawn darkness of November to the warm light and the hot coffee of the table, my mind needed some warming up to the Word of God. Two different angles appeared before me to relate 2015 to long ago Thessalonika. One is an organic or physical identification: the ground on which these conversations and events took place can be visited on Internet satellite views or traveled to by jet today. And very possibly some of the people present back then have descendants still living in the vicinity today, either those Paul and Timothy worked with, or the descendants of the synagogue(s) that listened and finally ejected him, or those neither following nor chasing him away. That is one way to trace a line from then to now -in physical, literal, material terms.

Another way is social and organizational: the smooth lines of NIV printed text, complete with signposts of chapters and verses, neatly roll in continuous stream across the paper and come with convenient page numbers, Table of Content, and thematic subheadings give the impression to modern readers that Paul's Letters were composed, delivered, and received in a direct, unambiguous, and impactful way. Things like nit-picking, back-biting, personality clashes and maneuvering for higher status to one's peer reference group, or other 'politicking' are imagined to be absent from the written communications from Paul to his brothers and sisters in Christ. But by injecting these foibles and petty human features of social interaction to the process, then these letters come to life a little more like things today.

small group discussion of R.Warren, "God's answers to life's difficult questions"

Chapter 3 is about responses to crisis [etymology: from Greek, dating from Medieval times - 'deciding point' or turning point in a disease; high stakes or danger]. The author pulls passages or personalities from the pages of the Bible to illustrate the principles that God is near (particularly close in the "thin spaces" of transition or life crisis), God knows and cares for you now and eternally, and that however things may go and you may respond - from God's point of view everything will be OK in the end.

And so, like many practices of Christianity and the other Abrahamic faith traditions, the more you engage in it, the more sense it makes and the better the results. For example, the discipline of praying frequently and widely leads to a more discerning heart, one less hardened and able to listen for or indeed seek out God's direction. Likewise when facing life's difficult questions listed chapter by chapter in the book, at first perhaps the passages from the Bible seem strange or baffling. But as one's habits of heart slowly are trained to God's angle, then things begin to happen for the better.

Thin places; God winks; Immersed in Thrum of Righteousness

The final few days of my mom's life passed at hospice among her children and dearest friend or two. One friend also was minister who spoke of thin places in life when the gap between here and The Beyond is thinner than the push and pull of everyday consumer life of maximizing utility or pleasure or whatever else structures one's decisions and worldview. At places of new life, recovered life, near death and earthly death the humdrum fades and the Being of now fills the space and time. What seems to matter most is altogether different to the yardstick we use in everyday routines and ruts we find ourselves in. Rather than seek other's approval or avoid disapproval, hungering for respect by peers and recognition by our social betters, instead our appetites are for beauty and relationship with the Righteous and Forever, the great Being that we find ourselves part of; part of all this time but too preoccupied in normal waking consciousness to know.

     At the memorial service just a week later my cousin talked of God winks. Incidental signs or even more direct communication that touch our hearts; that we take confirmation and comfort in; that seem to be a nod or indicator of God taking notice of our search for meaning and desire for hints of the Creator. Such times prepare our hearts for the interchange with things bigger than ourselves, things eternal, things ever present but which we are usually too preoccupied to see or hear or even know to look for.

     Once having felt these thin places and God winks it becomes easier to include this in the quiet time at start or finish of one's day; a time to drop the chatter of the 'monkey mind' (to borrow an image from Buddhist tradition of meditation distractedness) in order to just be; not do or make plans to do; just be without intention, direction, goal, striving or planning to strive. That moment, long or short, at twilight or in the rush of mid-day, is something like the top of the roller coaster, when the train has climbed to a peak and seems about to come to full stop before cresting the peak and gathering momentum in the plunge down and around the course. Besides that image of motion ceasing, the other image to describe the quiet place of the heart embracing God's creation is the experience of learning to speak a foreign language: first you rely on your native language by translating to and fro, tiring your mind in the process. But by and by as you pick up fluency and speed and stop stumbling over the details as you go with the flow and gist of communications, then the experience is immersive and the mother language can cease as the foreign language takes on the weight of your meanings, messages, and purposes. The same can be said about taking a moment or long pause to *be* with God; not doing, planning, reciting, praising, wrestling with God's Word, but just being present. That is the thrum of righteousness when striving has no place; where the race has already been run; where the sweetness and wonder are there to be savored. There is no need for words or actions, none of the mother language of ordinary life is needed because the foreign language, God's language of IS, is all embracing and all sufficient.

going to Hospice House

My mother volunteered since 1983 in our town and later in Traverse City after retiring to northern lower Michigan. As things have turned out she herself now has moved in and will be cared for staff and volunteers in turn. The meditation room has a stone-faced and framed "waterfall" fountain feature, as well as the following book titles.

I.D.K. (I don't know) - weakness or strength?

The beatitudes start out with the meek inheriting the kingdom. The full meaning is not the wimpy, but rather the powerful and able who *voluntarily* submit themselves to what is righteous.
So something similar may be echoed in one's growing spiritual maturity, wisdom, or experience of discernment; that is, while a less developed pilgrim's heart may seek definitive, black-and-white, certainties, someone further along the path may freely express their humility in not knowing; of walking forward by faith and not by sight. To say "I don't know" but still I persist in seeking God and God's Will is not an expression of exasperation, capitulation, or dismissing a conversation. Instead it opens up the field of engagement, seeking and inquiry. Rather than to be conclusive and foreclose and future questioning, to say "I don't know" is one way to open the door and look deeper and wider than the present moment and collection of experiences up to the present. In place of certainties there are uncertainties. But being able to acknowledge, accept and proceed by not knowing comes from strength, rather than weakness; like the "meek" or the "child-like" --these are not immaturities, but instead are the opposites and bring one closer to God's voice, hand, and mind; the great "I AM" of yore; of today; of all times.

Rote versus mindful “Lord’s Prayer”

Today in Men's Bible Study we did the call-and-response of Psalm 136… "The love of God endures forever." Then one guy asked the others of that freshly spoken experience: how much was rote and how much was purposeful intention, spoken like you really meant it? Answers ranged widely: rote is embedded in deeper part of brain, not the planning section but the emotional, automatic area. That way in time of need a person reaches deep down for a response and pulls up things like this. On the other hand, to go through the motions by pronouncing the required phrase without connecting this to what lies below as a foundation results in skimming the surface only; producing dead syllables rather than living, breathed meanings. But then to presume ever to comprehend God's meaning is foolhardy; far better to intend to understanding His meaning, but at the same time to acknowledge the limitations of a mortal mind. There is a certain analogy to choir singing: first learning to produce the right pitches and rhythms, and later adding correct musical dynamics, but only in the final stages being free from those operational concerns and letting the meaning speak directly from lyrics to listeners by singing it "like you mean it" and "really wanting to tell the listeners something you know." Similarly of the Lord's Prayer or this responsive phrase in Ps. 136. When you are focused and free of other preoccupations, then the short phrase can live all together, or specific words can leap forth with special emphasis and meaning: The LOVE of God endures forever, The love of GOD endures forever, The love of god ENDURES forever, and so on.
     What then is the right balance between dwelling on details of form versus paying lesser attention to particulars in order to focus on the big picture or message? Do denominational differences get in the way of embracing God's Word, or on the contrary do churches of like-minded (ethnic, generational, economic and educational statuses) people make it easier to put one's focus on the message and the experiential parts of worship? The old bumper sticker wisdom seems true, "People don't care what you know until they know that you care." In other words, the balance between particulars and main message comes down to the stumbling block idea: if the detail get in the way of the message, then they are a problem to overcome.

Physics of God's love and light; WWJD in reverse

"Then there was light" famously appears in the  opening lines of Genesis. Frequently good is depicted as illuminating or saving light, while darkness is defined by the absence of light instead of something of its own properties. But closely looking at physics suggests that the manner of speaking figuratively about light properties misses out some important physical properties of the electromagnetic spectrum that visible light occupies. 

(1) On a TV science show one of the experts compared the full spectrum to the distance from NYC to LA and on that long continuum of wavelengths the part that human eyes respond to would occupy the width of a coin worth 10 cents; a dime in other words. IMPLICATION: materials and beings that do not reflect visible light therefore are invisible to the unaided eye. All sorts of things could be present for which we have no corresponding reality or lived experience. 

(2) A college science experiment to demonstrate the mass or energy of light particles (photons) involves  very thin magnesium foil, which when exposed to light is caused to bend. IMPLICATION: while human eyes, skin and hair may not deflect under the load of bright light, nor bounce back in the absence of brilliant illumination, surely there is some physical reaction to bombardment by light energy. To the extent that God is The Light, then divine presence bathes all living creatures, filling the spaces between them. Through the repetition of day and night a certain pulse permeates one's being, whether that abiding presence (or corresponding absence) felt or unfelt. 

(3) Sometime the image of the wind is used to suggest the way the Holy Spirit is present in the world; not by direct perception, but instead by the movement of trees or waves. The same seems to be true of light: when indirectly illuminating the ground by reflecting from the sky or low-hanging clouds, or when shining from moon or sun directly overhead it can be perceived by turning to the source, or by observing the reflection on surfaces of one's body or environment. But the photons themselves are imperceptible. IMPLICATION: whereas God is present in all places and at all times, for mortal minds it is more glorious and most noticeable by reflection, including by shadows from shapes blocking the rays of light.

=-=-=-= This morning at Men's Bible Study one guy shared the realization that he'd been looking at his relationship to Jesus backwards. Typically a person aspires to the example that Jesus set and all the things one lacks in reference to the Sinless Master can be daunting or discouraging. So instead the question of WWJD (what would Jesus do; or let me try to be like Jesus in facing a decision or burden) the question can be put another way: ask WJWD (what Jesus would do) if he had to work with my skill set, preoccupations, psychological baggage and collection of responsibilities and so on. If Jesus were me now, as I am in all imperfections and foibles, What Jesus Would Do can give pause or insight before finally taking action, or deciding not to take action, for that matter.

baroque - or the feelings of awe

Some would press for plain worship places outdoors or interior because of the risk of wowing newcomers with the man-made wonder and distracting from the God-made wonder.
But others are hungry for an experience with lots of music, movement or dance, plenty of interchange to engage the whole self - body and heart and mind- in praising God. So the brassier, the more syncopated, multi-colored and digitally connected, the better. When VR goggles become affordable, let us have them on our heads, too, by this logic & this appetite for stimulation.

This image, https://www.flickr.com/photos/kritayuga/18425591593/in/explore-2015-06-22/, is a sweeping example of a man-made space that may catch you up in its majesty and scale.
The danger is to confuse the physical space with the thing it points to, God's own majesty, wonder and awe. So as long as you understand God's ever-presence, everywhere, and not confuse this built-space with God's postal address, then all is well.

The pause that refreshes

On this pleasant day of worship with church windows open to the bright green and gentle breeze outdoors, the minister invokes the Spirit of God and the time we dedicate to praising his name and worshiping his goodness inside and outside ourselves, no matter the tribulations, irritations or temptations that may otherwise preoccupy our minds.
     There is a cascade of distractions, beeps and clicks, free trials (ironic wordplay?) on offer, and efforts to make us spend, consume and imagine ourselves doing so bigger, faster, and pricier. So keeping one hand on God's Will is one way to filter and tone-down this clutter. Doing so gives some relief from these pressures and it gives some hope of maintaining a free-flowing heart and mind, able to look long, deep and wide and our times and within that our own lives and those around us. If not daily or even more frequently, prayer or worship or study or fellowship provides "the pause that refreshes," to borrow an advertising slogan of the past generation or two.
     Things like preoccupations filling our attention, burdens and sources of anxiety, general mental and residential clutter, and the spiritual/mental friction of entangling fine-print all deflect our gaze from our LORD and way to salvation.

surrender, serenity, serendipity

There is a suggestive overlap in first 2 syllables; but probably just happy coincidence.
     During men's bible study the impossibility of surrendering completely to God's will during one's mortal times came up in the discussion. It would seem that while you have mass, motivation, and breath that forever you will hold onto at least a thread of autonomy and authority; striving for a degree of independent scope of action, rather than always to pray or defer or reflect on God's will first. Of course some persons can train themselves from the knee-jerk habit of acting first and thinking of God's place only in hindsight. A supple heart can be trained by steady effort and knowing 'experience is the best teacher'.
     The image of golf, tennis, calligraphy or another skill-based learning curve comes to mind: the beginner grips too hard in an effort to control or overcontrol and overthink things. But in the course of gaining maturity and wider scope of experiences, the same person can lighten the grip and seize firmly only at the precise moments called for. By maintaining a light grip on one's days, it is possible to enhance one's nimble responsiveness, supple reactions, and alertness to surrounding conditions. As with mastery of a skill, so too with mastery of communicating with God and with one's neighbors; indeed, there may even come an ability to love one's enemies.

Ps 92: music? life flashing by? wrong end of the funnel

Men's Bible study this week included the 92nd Psalm which opens with the subject of music. So what exactly is music in the interplay of people in fellowship and in relating to God? Surely it is something expressive, although it can be produced in rote, literal ways, lacking the warmth and presence of inspired and purposeful sounds. Sort of like the all-purpose word 'love' in English (where the Greek language of the NT distinguished 4 separate words, depending on emphasis: affection, loyatly, belonging, etc), so also for 'music' there is one vast word to include sounds organized for lyrics and tunes without words. Some songs have delicate and complicated texts, while others are simple and repetitive to lead one into meditative release or congregational unity. Some music engages the verbal part of the mind; others engage the heart or physical part of one's self with percussive, syncopated or boisterous expression. And so is this semi-linguistic or sometimes non-verbal form of worship (as well as other times in recreation, meditation, comfort or protest) a channel of communication mainly - a way to reach others; to reach out and other times to reach in? The harmonies, rhythms and textures do something; they transact something; they form a flash-flood: a powerful and possibly dangerous current that sweeps along everyone to a happy place or sad place for the short time that it flows.

In the psalm there is the imagery of those ignoring or distracted from God who are like grass in the morning - prolific and short lived. By contrast there is the image of the palms trees, persistent, fruitful and suited to harsh conditions. These are meant to illustrate the righteous seekers after God. Elsewhere in the Bible we read that all God's creatures are loved; but that some seek him and others don't accept the love he gives them. But sinners big and small, those coming to him early or late are loved equally. So even a deathbed repentance is valuable. By extension and knowing God's equal force of presence over long scales of time and microseconds, perhaps the near-death-experience (NDE) and those whose demise is final who report a rapid replay of the important experiences along life's way in the blink of an eye, but which feels like slow-motion, is yet another window of opportunity for the unbeliever to repent and to seek salvation in God, right up to the final heartbeat. To an outsider unable to see that final replay of the person's life, all comes to an end. But in God's time --frozen, speeded up, or experienced at a waking human pace --there is time enough to transact the relationship between creature and creator one final time.

As the men's group conversation went from tangent to tangent the image of a funnel came up: so many novices, newly exploring God's word and the significance of one's life in view of Jesus' lessons, tend to look at God through the wrong end of the funnel. The wide end points to the self, making that part the most important, while the narrow end points to God, allowing only a narrow field of view and blocking out the many other surrounding distractions and temptations. However, a truer relationship to God follows and flows from the other direction of the funnel: the wide end points to all of creation in which God's presence can be seen and felt, while the narrow end points to the self.

So many people scurrying along their lives

The spring days are turning to summer as the early morning weekly men's Bible Study gathers. What once was a cold, predawn meeting now starts in full sunlight. And the people filling the roads no longer need headlights to make their way along their weekly morning commute. Viewed from the conversational space of the Old Testament's book of Psalms, and the conversations about word roots (Hebrew original in Ps 89 mentions God's love >root word is about loyalty, committedness, rather than the English overtones of affection), it seems that so many people go about their days far from God's Word (printed or broadcast or memorized or recorded scripture text) or conscious awareness and seeking out his actions and presence in those around oneself. To juxtapose the conversation around the Bible Study table with what is playing in the commuter's' car, or what may be preoccupying their minds, is to see the comparative scarcity of God in most people's day to day routines; apart from worship services they may attend regularly or periodically. In other words, we who are wrestling with significance, nuance and modern-day applicability of scripture probably are far, far, far outside our fellow creatures.
     Taking an even larger geographic frame of reference, it stretches the mind to consider the present minute or hour on a state-wide, national or even world-wide scale; knowing how many (or few) of the 6+ Billion human souls have heard God's name, let alone actively seek to know his word and his presence. Of course the rotating planet puts some of us in daytime and others in night, and still others in the transition from one to the other. So not everyone is wakeful in the same minute or hour of the comparison. Still, as an exercise of the imagination, to think of all our fellow creatures in a single glimpse is staggering. To go one better, one can try to picture not only those breathing in this minute all across the Blue Planet, but those also from the past 100 years, or even those in the coming 100 years, as well. While it may seem an uncountable number of bodies, in fact, it is a fixed number; perhaps never to occupy the same slice of time, but in God's Timescale perhaps the past and future are contemporaneous to the now. And so, among all these children of God, no matter the faith tradition they know/knew, consider just how many are actively wrestling with his word and his ways in a given instant on this grand scale; perhaps only enough to fill a few modern football stadiums?

leaning hard on God

Men's Bible Study took us into Psalms 69-70 in which the speaker appeals to the LORD God to do some God work since the person's situation is difficult; maybe a little like Job's trials even. Since we are children of God and by extension siblings of those around us, all expressions, outpourings and complaints are relational: the strength of the relationship determines how heavy a load can be borne. Someone with a weak or barely developed God relationship may feel it smartest to be polite in his awe and company. But in this Psalm the person seems to be on pretty close terms with the Creator. So the person does not hold back from demanding a more powerful showing by The Spirit. Many places in the Bible's 1st and 2nd testaments there is wailing and demands, sinning and repenting. So to view the Book as a catalog of powerful stories of triumphs by the pure of heart is not true. There is so much that reflects the stupid, impatient, and cruel actions of people to each other, as well. From these darker parts there is much to reflect upon and learn, too; not just the shiny parts lit by glorious light.

standing in the light; knowing God is there

1. During the Monday night small group book discussion of "Why Nobody Wants to Go to Church Anymore" the opening question was about times in your life where you've become aware of God's presence - first talking with partner and then sharing with whole group:

--Examples given: unexpected turn to positive health of self or other, guardian angel experience of near miss or baffling outcome for the best, hindsight showing a pattern or direction to what at the time seemed a 'door slamming shut', or engagement in prayer or care that affects both parties - sometimes in paradoxical or completely unlikely ways. It is not that God pays you a visit, but that he is ever-present and it is you whose awareness tunes in the guiding hand or needed discernment for making a decision.

2. Barbara Brown Taylor was featured a few years ago on TIME Magazine for her book about finding God not in the light, but in the dark.
Her book, "Learning to Walk in the Dark," talks about things in the Bible that happen away from the light; places other than "mountain-top moments."
Just so, as I rode toward the Tuesday morning gathering of the Men's Bible Study the sun had recently come over the tree tops. Some buildings and parts of streets were blazing in glorious spotlighting, while others were in shadow. Over head the dome of morning blue skies, clear of any cloud, reflecting the dawning day and shone down indirectly bathing everything in light. This physical manifestation of light and dark seemed to illustrate or give body to the talk of "God is light" in that abundant and undying light covers everything and even shadowed places receive some of the indirect illumination from sky or indeed from the most brightly lit surfaces adjacent to the shadow space. As an ever changing light plays on the surfaces, so too of righteousness: there are places and times of great brightness which later dim, and there are places of shadow that may later be fully lit.

God is With Us?! Several topics, in addition

Several weeks worth of remarks follow, beginning with a line from Psalm 47 (happy days are here, again, after the doubt-filled worries of Psalm 43):

God is with us
  Typically we take the meaning to be "on our side"; we can know that we are the winning side (in mortal matters of the earthly plain of conflicts). But just maybe this angle is wrong and the better interpretation of "God is with us" should be something of a warning to put minds/hearts en guard, because "fear [awe] of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom"; that is to say, if you sense the God is right there with you and in you, then it can be a terrible, terrific feeling. Instead of thinking the God is with us, therefore our cause is the just one and is sure to prevail. Now rather the meaning is God is with us, so bow down and tremble in the majesty of it all.

Be Still and Know that I AM God
   Elsewhere in Ps 47 (NIV edition) there is reference to "I am God" which echoes one of the 99 names of God, "I AM." One meaning is that God just IS; pure BEing sums up God's name and essence. Another meaning is that (at least in English language translation of "I AM") mere mortals use the same grammar and word choice in everyday conversation, such as "I am going shopping" or "I am home now" or "I am happy with that." Every time we use the words "I am..." it sort of invokes and echoes that Name of God. This is reminiscent of the Rastafarians, who recognize that God resides in self and in others; some will get in the habit of including this God-part when talking about themselves; for example, "I and I can meet you tomorrow at 6."

Cold dark morning outdoors, but lighted welcome and hot coffee inside

Heading out into the predawn day for the weekly Men's Bible Study, it occurred to me that the stream of people following their routines to or from work at that hour represented the motorized majority getting about their consumer-scaled lives. But that just around the corner and inside the dark church building lay the regular gathering of 5-6 guys, usually aged 50 and older who come out of the cold to enjoy each other's company, the hot coffee and hearing the word of God to set them onto tangents and other conversations. Could this arrangement represent the wider society, even world: much darkness, with small pockets of welcoming light and good company where one can not only hear God's word, but also talk about it in personal terms and wrestle with it for better understanding. In other words, despite the massive and perpetual print runs and the free digital editions of the Bible, and regardless of the findability online or on TV or recorded medium, still the word of God is not necessarily easy to find; or if easy to find, then it seems to be difficult to open up and engage with. In this way it is like the small lighted room each Tuesday morning with the handful of old guys pondering it and working out their own hearts. The far and wide spaces outside are dark and cold and dominate most people's days, while to seek The Light is a rare thing, and precious, too.

Guilty vs. (a)shamed vs. judged

Psalms are filled with outpourings both of love for God and pointed expressions where the petitioner calls God into account to Just Be God when the person perceives an absence of divine engagement on the earthly plane. In one psalm there is reference to shame, which triggers the contrast social commentators make between societies where a primary motivator or awareness is shame (e.g. Japan: acute peer awareness, social capital is close to basic survival) versus places where guilt is something most people avoid (e.g. USA: infringement on absolute, black and white conditions of goodness or rightfulness, particularly of the eternal, higher-than-mortal kind).

    Western-trained psychologists say that guilt is about deeds, but shame is about one's character or self. So it may be easier to restore a person who is guilty of a deed (justice, punishment, penance, remorse) than one who has been shamed by others (a kind of bullying?) or who himself or herself feels ashamed in the eyes of those whose relationship is valued, respected, and wherein the basis for dignity and (self) esteem reside.

    The third term that underlies both conditions seems to be judgement, either feeling judged by peers or judged by God's all-seeing, unsleeping heart/mind. For example there are people who are afraid of being judged by others; a sort of hazing experienced based on asserted (or imagined expressions of) moral authority. So whether one's errors infringe on God's ways (guilt) or on social custom (shame), there is sensitivity about being judged. Yet the Bible says judgement is God's prerogative, not something for mortals to dabble in. However, as the body of believers, semi-believers, and not-yet-believers who comprise a church in mutual support of one another, there is room for holding each other accountable, while not actually casting a judgement. We should point to each other's weaknesses, not for exercising moral superiority for all are sinners alike, but for next reaching out to support each other.

    Turning to worship services in church spaces or away from formal settings it seems very often that worshipers' self-image is celebratory and the avoidance of (appearances of) shame, but rather the brave assertion of dignity and banishment of weakness, vulnerability or problems on one's heart. In other words, rather than to grab ahold of pains or problems, the undercurrent is to avoid shame or guilt, whether it is present and perceptible or is imagined and indistinct. Rather than to risk or extend oneself and one's shortcomings (not as show of weakness or one-upsmanship --my pain is worse than yours), the church year and communal worship is a place to assert God's goodness and to acknowledge each other's goodness by extension. The driver is more one of avoiding pain of The World than to reach for pleasure of God's Way. Things are framed by "deficit thinking" (what is lacking, what is hateful, what is sinful) rather than "blessing thinking" (see what is possible, what is promised to come, what to be grateful of).

Love Hate Relationship?

The same psalm uses the word 'hate' in one of the infrequent instances of the Bible. The commonplace, pop-psychology of love-hate relationships takes on new meaning when 'love' is viewed in the way of God's love; that is, enduring and (over)whelming, parent-like (firm and reliable) as well as child-like (wondrous, not overly complicated, sweet). In this light the idea of love as the opposite of (or absence of) hate can be seen with fresh eyes. Certainly there can be many hateful deeds, great or small, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of one's neighbor. All the while, though, love can go on and even grow stronger when strained by offensive sin or innocuous missteps. Since God's love is not constrained by social customs, emotional baggage, or 'common' sense, it overcome any condition, even the apparently diametrically opposed position of enemies, where we have been taught to love each other even then. And so, contradictory though it seems in human language and logical circuits, love and hate can exist side by side.