So many people scurrying along their lives

The spring days are turning to summer as the early morning weekly men's Bible Study gathers. What once was a cold, predawn meeting now starts in full sunlight. And the people filling the roads no longer need headlights to make their way along their weekly morning commute. Viewed from the conversational space of the Old Testament's book of Psalms, and the conversations about word roots (Hebrew original in Ps 89 mentions God's love >root word is about loyalty, committedness, rather than the English overtones of affection), it seems that so many people go about their days far from God's Word (printed or broadcast or memorized or recorded scripture text) or conscious awareness and seeking out his actions and presence in those around oneself. To juxtapose the conversation around the Bible Study table with what is playing in the commuter's' car, or what may be preoccupying their minds, is to see the comparative scarcity of God in most people's day to day routines; apart from worship services they may attend regularly or periodically. In other words, we who are wrestling with significance, nuance and modern-day applicability of scripture probably are far, far, far outside our fellow creatures.
     Taking an even larger geographic frame of reference, it stretches the mind to consider the present minute or hour on a state-wide, national or even world-wide scale; knowing how many (or few) of the 6+ Billion human souls have heard God's name, let alone actively seek to know his word and his presence. Of course the rotating planet puts some of us in daytime and others in night, and still others in the transition from one to the other. So not everyone is wakeful in the same minute or hour of the comparison. Still, as an exercise of the imagination, to think of all our fellow creatures in a single glimpse is staggering. To go one better, one can try to picture not only those breathing in this minute all across the Blue Planet, but those also from the past 100 years, or even those in the coming 100 years, as well. While it may seem an uncountable number of bodies, in fact, it is a fixed number; perhaps never to occupy the same slice of time, but in God's Timescale perhaps the past and future are contemporaneous to the now. And so, among all these children of God, no matter the faith tradition they know/knew, consider just how many are actively wrestling with his word and his ways in a given instant on this grand scale; perhaps only enough to fill a few modern football stadiums?

leaning hard on God

Men's Bible Study took us into Psalms 69-70 in which the speaker appeals to the LORD God to do some God work since the person's situation is difficult; maybe a little like Job's trials even. Since we are children of God and by extension siblings of those around us, all expressions, outpourings and complaints are relational: the strength of the relationship determines how heavy a load can be borne. Someone with a weak or barely developed God relationship may feel it smartest to be polite in his awe and company. But in this Psalm the person seems to be on pretty close terms with the Creator. So the person does not hold back from demanding a more powerful showing by The Spirit. Many places in the Bible's 1st and 2nd testaments there is wailing and demands, sinning and repenting. So to view the Book as a catalog of powerful stories of triumphs by the pure of heart is not true. There is so much that reflects the stupid, impatient, and cruel actions of people to each other, as well. From these darker parts there is much to reflect upon and learn, too; not just the shiny parts lit by glorious light.

standing in the light; knowing God is there

1. During the Monday night small group book discussion of "Why Nobody Wants to Go to Church Anymore" the opening question was about times in your life where you've become aware of God's presence - first talking with partner and then sharing with whole group:

--Examples given: unexpected turn to positive health of self or other, guardian angel experience of near miss or baffling outcome for the best, hindsight showing a pattern or direction to what at the time seemed a 'door slamming shut', or engagement in prayer or care that affects both parties - sometimes in paradoxical or completely unlikely ways. It is not that God pays you a visit, but that he is ever-present and it is you whose awareness tunes in the guiding hand or needed discernment for making a decision.

2. Barbara Brown Taylor was featured a few years ago on TIME Magazine for her book about finding God not in the light, but in the dark.
Her book, "Learning to Walk in the Dark," talks about things in the Bible that happen away from the light; places other than "mountain-top moments."
Just so, as I rode toward the Tuesday morning gathering of the Men's Bible Study the sun had recently come over the tree tops. Some buildings and parts of streets were blazing in glorious spotlighting, while others were in shadow. Over head the dome of morning blue skies, clear of any cloud, reflecting the dawning day and shone down indirectly bathing everything in light. This physical manifestation of light and dark seemed to illustrate or give body to the talk of "God is light" in that abundant and undying light covers everything and even shadowed places receive some of the indirect illumination from sky or indeed from the most brightly lit surfaces adjacent to the shadow space. As an ever changing light plays on the surfaces, so too of righteousness: there are places and times of great brightness which later dim, and there are places of shadow that may later be fully lit.

God is With Us?! Several topics, in addition

Several weeks worth of remarks follow, beginning with a line from Psalm 47 (happy days are here, again, after the doubt-filled worries of Psalm 43):

God is with us
  Typically we take the meaning to be "on our side"; we can know that we are the winning side (in mortal matters of the earthly plain of conflicts). But just maybe this angle is wrong and the better interpretation of "God is with us" should be something of a warning to put minds/hearts en guard, because "fear [awe] of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom"; that is to say, if you sense the God is right there with you and in you, then it can be a terrible, terrific feeling. Instead of thinking the God is with us, therefore our cause is the just one and is sure to prevail. Now rather the meaning is God is with us, so bow down and tremble in the majesty of it all.

Be Still and Know that I AM God
   Elsewhere in Ps 47 (NIV edition) there is reference to "I am God" which echoes one of the 99 names of God, "I AM." One meaning is that God just IS; pure BEing sums up God's name and essence. Another meaning is that (at least in English language translation of "I AM") mere mortals use the same grammar and word choice in everyday conversation, such as "I am going shopping" or "I am home now" or "I am happy with that." Every time we use the words "I am..." it sort of invokes and echoes that Name of God. This is reminiscent of the Rastafarians, who recognize that God resides in self and in others; some will get in the habit of including this God-part when talking about themselves; for example, "I and I can meet you tomorrow at 6."

Cold dark morning outdoors, but lighted welcome and hot coffee inside

Heading out into the predawn day for the weekly Men's Bible Study, it occurred to me that the stream of people following their routines to or from work at that hour represented the motorized majority getting about their consumer-scaled lives. But that just around the corner and inside the dark church building lay the regular gathering of 5-6 guys, usually aged 50 and older who come out of the cold to enjoy each other's company, the hot coffee and hearing the word of God to set them onto tangents and other conversations. Could this arrangement represent the wider society, even world: much darkness, with small pockets of welcoming light and good company where one can not only hear God's word, but also talk about it in personal terms and wrestle with it for better understanding. In other words, despite the massive and perpetual print runs and the free digital editions of the Bible, and regardless of the findability online or on TV or recorded medium, still the word of God is not necessarily easy to find; or if easy to find, then it seems to be difficult to open up and engage with. In this way it is like the small lighted room each Tuesday morning with the handful of old guys pondering it and working out their own hearts. The far and wide spaces outside are dark and cold and dominate most people's days, while to seek The Light is a rare thing, and precious, too.

Guilty vs. (a)shamed vs. judged

Psalms are filled with outpourings both of love for God and pointed expressions where the petitioner calls God into account to Just Be God when the person perceives an absence of divine engagement on the earthly plane. In one psalm there is reference to shame, which triggers the contrast social commentators make between societies where a primary motivator or awareness is shame (e.g. Japan: acute peer awareness, social capital is close to basic survival) versus places where guilt is something most people avoid (e.g. USA: infringement on absolute, black and white conditions of goodness or rightfulness, particularly of the eternal, higher-than-mortal kind).

    Western-trained psychologists say that guilt is about deeds, but shame is about one's character or self. So it may be easier to restore a person who is guilty of a deed (justice, punishment, penance, remorse) than one who has been shamed by others (a kind of bullying?) or who himself or herself feels ashamed in the eyes of those whose relationship is valued, respected, and wherein the basis for dignity and (self) esteem reside.

    The third term that underlies both conditions seems to be judgement, either feeling judged by peers or judged by God's all-seeing, unsleeping heart/mind. For example there are people who are afraid of being judged by others; a sort of hazing experienced based on asserted (or imagined expressions of) moral authority. So whether one's errors infringe on God's ways (guilt) or on social custom (shame), there is sensitivity about being judged. Yet the Bible says judgement is God's prerogative, not something for mortals to dabble in. However, as the body of believers, semi-believers, and not-yet-believers who comprise a church in mutual support of one another, there is room for holding each other accountable, while not actually casting a judgement. We should point to each other's weaknesses, not for exercising moral superiority for all are sinners alike, but for next reaching out to support each other.

    Turning to worship services in church spaces or away from formal settings it seems very often that worshipers' self-image is celebratory and the avoidance of (appearances of) shame, but rather the brave assertion of dignity and banishment of weakness, vulnerability or problems on one's heart. In other words, rather than to grab ahold of pains or problems, the undercurrent is to avoid shame or guilt, whether it is present and perceptible or is imagined and indistinct. Rather than to risk or extend oneself and one's shortcomings (not as show of weakness or one-upsmanship --my pain is worse than yours), the church year and communal worship is a place to assert God's goodness and to acknowledge each other's goodness by extension. The driver is more one of avoiding pain of The World than to reach for pleasure of God's Way. Things are framed by "deficit thinking" (what is lacking, what is hateful, what is sinful) rather than "blessing thinking" (see what is possible, what is promised to come, what to be grateful of).

Love Hate Relationship?

The same psalm uses the word 'hate' in one of the infrequent instances of the Bible. The commonplace, pop-psychology of love-hate relationships takes on new meaning when 'love' is viewed in the way of God's love; that is, enduring and (over)whelming, parent-like (firm and reliable) as well as child-like (wondrous, not overly complicated, sweet). In this light the idea of love as the opposite of (or absence of) hate can be seen with fresh eyes. Certainly there can be many hateful deeds, great or small, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of one's neighbor. All the while, though, love can go on and even grow stronger when strained by offensive sin or innocuous missteps. Since God's love is not constrained by social customs, emotional baggage, or 'common' sense, it overcome any condition, even the apparently diametrically opposed position of enemies, where we have been taught to love each other even then. And so, contradictory though it seems in human language and logical circuits, love and hate can exist side by side.

Fear of the LORD is the beginning of Wisdom?

In Philippians 2:12-13 it says, "--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Since the English 'fear' is less about threat or cowardice and something more akin to 'feelings of awe or being in the presence of overwhelming power and energy' then this line points to the connection of the attitude of one's hear of 'awe' on the one hand and salvation on the other hand; in other words, working out of one's salvation requires a heart that is filled with the feeling of awe. The opposite to awe might be all the self-referential attitudes like self-confidence, self-mastery, self-control, self-righteousness, and logical command of one's faculties. In parallel to "working out one's salvation" comes the part about "fear of the LORD" being required for one to become wise; not worldly wise, but God-wise; capable of seeing things outside one's own narrow angle of view. Putting both instructions together, then, based on the common feature of 'fear' (or AWE), perhaps it is true that holding one's heart in a state of awe is the best way to be open to God's Will, and not to be preoccupied with one's own plans and decision-making. That is, perhaps, one is best situated to know God when holding an attitude of awe-filled heart. That way both salvation can be worked toward and wisdom may enter one's mind. But in all cases, it is this trembling that makes room for God in one's mind and heart.

The earthly details of one person being more fervent, sincere, learned or running a bigger operation to serve "the least of these" do not matter in God's accounting. Rather it is the degree of openness of one's heart, the absence of hard hearts that can best draw near to God. Much like the story of the "widow's mite," it is not the size of the offering given, but instead the feelings filling the heart of the giver that matter most in building one's God relationship. Just so on the other side of the relationship: in God's eyes all sins are sins, even if mortals consider some more devastating than others. Sin literally means missing the target or straying off the road. In that sense anything that takes you away from God is harmful.

Hiding in plain sight; the humble prayer & pray-er

Perhaps the roots of the words "pray" and "praise" overlap somewhere in the mists of time; at least the quintessential composition of praying to God is meant to contain both elements: praise and thanks, as well as the part that usually preoccupies the supplicant, the "ask." In any event, if my growing up experience is typical, then prayer tended to be of two kinds: public, ceremonial ones in the course of worship or start of a sporting event, or else the ones around a feast table for Sunday dinner (with or without guests) or holiday time. In other words, the idea of pausing before each sit-down meal or to open and close one's wakeful day with prayer time; or equally foreign was the notion of scheduling a disciplined time for setting aside one's cares to pray for others known and those more distant in the world or the echelons of social order. And yet these private times, unadorned and low-tech (requiring little more than one's attention and care, no matter the time or place), perhaps are the core of reaching toward God and building habits of relationship. One result of frequent praying is 'normalization'; that is, praying becomes commonplace and usual, whether in a public place or not. Another result is 'practice makes perfect'; that is, the words come more fluently with practice and the ability to engage with thoughts and feelings nimbly as they dance through one's mind also grows stronger. Perhaps most important of all is the effect that repeated, frequent praying has on the heart of the pray-er (the one who prays): continued praising of God, thanking for God's goodness, and loving one's neighbors (indeed, loving one's enemies) results in a mind and heart that is ever more aware of other's needs and less so one's own. The upshot of powerful praying over long periods of one's life is a change in heart toward one ready to hear God's Will and follow. So something that a young or newcomer God-worshiper perceives at first as an inert, inactive, fixed piece of a worship service actually is the one action that a person can take to  propel his or her spiritual development forward. The humble, heartfelt prayer is so important, but is overlooked because it rests in plain sight!

It is simple - just Love Your God

Paradox: message of God is simple, but not immediately or simple to embrace and know. Sure you can go to an event, location, or ritual to see and participate, but unless your heart is in it then the meaning will escape you. Two people can see the same situation and understanding the significance very differently, one who sees only what is present at the moment and engges the physical senses; the other capable of seeing what is connected to the present, either just before or long before the moment at hand, and likewise perhaps able to foresee what is likely to follow from the moment in the next instant or even the more distant future. The same is true of entering into God's simple truth and the message of Love Your God and Love Your Neighbor as Yourself. One whose heart is well prepared can operationalize the meaning and apply it moment by moment. The other who is new to this Way perhaps cannot comprehend the depth and breadth of the teaching.

Just so the many commentaries, studies, and preaching and teaching *about* God's love: there are many verses, illustrations, parables and points of emphasis during the three year course of the church Lectionary.What is one to steer one's life by or how is one to know God better when the message from one minister differs from another, and even the same learned person will shine a spotlight on different faces of the Word of God on each occasion.

Holding God accountable to act like LORD?!

Much of the Bible's book of psalms includes calling out God for neglecting or badly handling his (chosen) people. Even Job, biblically patient though he is, challenges God. Others put their complaint in God's terms: that this mistreatment only hurts God by keeping the righteous from being and doing all they can. The question, though, is how much of one's growing relationship with God is built of reciprocity (God loves us; saves us; creates us and so we will consent to honoring this God), and how much is based on God being God;? Perhaps the relationship that one may expect with God is less about doing or tangible benefits and more about praising his name, seeking his face, loving his creatures; more existential and less transactional.

Pondering Psalms

It can be eye-opening or baffling to consider that some psalms stand alone and came about separated by many generations, but that others may be numbered sequentially and what is more, can be understood one contiguous to the other (e.g. 22 and 23). While there is some praise and exhortation, a consistent element is the  presence of conflicts or at least its suggestion ("in the presence of mine enemies..."). The ones attributed to David have the elegant voice of pundit instead of that imagined of a shepherd, his position early in life when he felled Goliath. Speaking of kings, in place of pyramids or mausolea, what customs set them apart from non-nobility; what traces do archaeologists know today?

What calls a person to enter a place of worship?

There are those who grow up at a church or other place of worship, and so the interior and its proceedings are normal and may even be craved when that person is absent from worship for a time or during life events or parts of worship year. Secondly, others may attend on the occasion of a wedding, baptism or funeral. From this experience they develop a taste for more of the place, its ideas, and people there. Eventually these newcomers may go beyond merely attending and joining selectively in fellowship to contribute materially to the worship and to upkeep of the church of the programming and initiatives. Along the way the focus may shift from knowledge about the religious tradition and more to knowing God; or at least to desiring to know God better, as well as to give care in developing relationships with God's people who worship and those outside the church body who worship elsewhere or not at all. Thirdly, there are those who accidentally ran into God through health crisis, social status crisis, or life's purpose crisis. The flipside of losing one's way or having one's lifestyle overturned is not so much an absence of earlier ways, but instead is the presence of God's wonder, awe or possibly trembling; some sort of transcending event or longing. From this point of suffering, or this point of numinosity (feeling ecstatic or being filled with God; literally, enthused) then the person has an urgent need or a nagging desire for more of this God experience and so seeks it from worship experiences ancient and current. And if the commitment is more than a passing hunger, then the person may then want to know God better by study, prayer, and communing with fellow travelers on the spiritual road.

Singing together to worship the lord

Sound has many properties: pattern, pitch, tone (color or timbre), volume, duration and directionality; and in combination with contrasting or complementing pattern-pitch-tone-volume, duration and directionality. Thus, much the fleeting quality of "dew on the grass" (to which a human lifespan is compared in the Bible), so too of music and spoken expression there is a temporary quality to it: while it is present and alive it is fully immersive and engrossing. But once the sound waves stop rippling through the air space, then nothing but soft impressions made on one's memory linger. And so the act of singing God's praises, lessons, or wonderings mirrors the human experience of relationships and common cause. It is temporary, but together the experience is deep and rich. Through this the sung, spoke and instrumentally played expression of desires for transcendent beauty and uplifting righteousness and all embracing love something happens; something difficult to articulate, but salient and able to be sensed in the shared space of the music. In other words, much as music can be a vehicle to reach to God and each other, so too of the worship time and the rest of one's day and week in relationships with others familiar or unknown. Music is an immersive "now" experience that soon fades, and so too, is waking social life and indeed the span of one's life; just sojourning to pass through this Veil of Tears.

The Jehova brand. Also, "God is too big"

Promoting the Jehova brand?

Sermon in the run-up to Lent included the idea of talking with God in the terms he uses (he knows every hair of our bodies and knows us even before we are born; his love is boundless), talking to ourselves in those same loving terms (to love yourself as you do your neighbor; or, as normally quoted: to love your neighbor as yourself), but also to talk to others in this same love-filled way. In other words, we are meant not just to fellowship with each other, but with those unloved in the wider society; to embody God's hospitality and hospitable nature; his love. We are meant to ask, "can I pray for you" or "you know that God loves you and me both."

     Jesus mingled with all and any, and most notably the diseased, distressed or unloved, socially invisible people of little worldly power or means. In his words and the record of how he used his days, there seem to be few overt references or attribution to God the Creator. He does refer to "my father in heaven" but his own teaching and healing he does one on one, not on behalf of God as some sort of agent or authorized actor who represents and promotes the God brand, making sure to credit God in things small and large.

     So by that example, we may also act one to one, without directly referencing or explaining God's place in the interaction and relationship, whether temporary or long-running. God will be in the front of one's mind and at the bottom of one's heart, possibly triggering or motivating or rewarding one's mind, but seen from the other side of the person receiving your care and interchange, it is just you (the face of God; his hands and feet). So it seems we need to step out with high hopes, good intention and filled with some joy in the knowledge of God there right beside us.

God is too big

We speak of being saved by God; of the infinity of God, but so much of our energy and intention and wondering while walking the mortal highways and by-ways is about cultivating a relationship with God - a process rather than a single harvest to attain and finish with. So really when we speak of God's place in our lives, and our places in God's world, it would be more accurate to say that we are saved by the unfolding and deepening of knowing God; that is, being saved by the relationship and the knowing of God. The better you know God and God's ways and God's world, the better also God's touch can reach you. If there is little or no relationship, then neither will there be much knowing and results from God's touch and presence in your life. In other words, trying to picture "God" is hard because infinity can't be embrassed. So it would be better to view "God" as the small part that personally has touched us and established a growing relationship with us.

big picture, 80 generations with God's new convenant

At 25 years per generation, there have been about 80 generations since the time that Jesus of Nazareth walked the land and taught the new covenant; not to destroy The Law of Moses, but to fulfill it. In the centuries since then we may wonder what time or place has best allowed individuals and groups of believers to engage with (wrestle with) God's Word and the come to understand the creator-redeemer in order to draw closest. On the contrary we may wonder the opposite, under what conditions and events has the relationship-building with God most suffered from distractedness, dissipation, distance or muddying the view. Finally, what does the middle position look like: times when communities and individuals are neither helped nor hindered in getting to know God's will and ways, but instead are somewhere in-between, partly hindered but also party encouraged or led to forming a working relationship with God Almighty.

Do places with rigid structure and intellectual articulateness (religious communities) necessarily make the path more direct and visible than life experiences that are more blown by winds of fancy or chance? Or do all circumstances include factors that help and also ones that hinder one's growth and curiosity? In all of human history what model seems best for helping God's children to find and know him? Are wild and solitary places most conducive, or will organized routines work better at adjusting one's attitude and expectations in order to hear and obey God's Word?

All of these questions seem to be open ones, with no clear or obvious answer. But if best ways to find and know God were well established would many people actually do so?

Grace but also Justice, Truth, Righteousness

Surely all but the unforgivable sin will be wiped away by God's bottomless grace. But that does not mean there are no consequences, costs, risks or harm coming from one's sin. These will meet with the refiner's fire to destroy the bad parts and leave only the good parts. Human minds and mortal logic could never shed light on the entirety and meaning of this process of realignment and bringing sin back on track with what is right, good and true. Looking from the development of the believer's deepest heart, the ability to receive and appreciate grace given depends on the attitude and strength of one's heart and the intensity of love for God. If a person is distracted, preoccupied or otherwise not attuned to the voice of God, the face of God, the abiding presence and outworking of God's hands, then that person will fail to understand the language of God; fail to hear when Grace is given; and therefore fail to reply when asked.

The Heart Hears, the Heart Speaks

At the evening Advent by Candlelight worship service we heard the verses of prophet Malachi 1:6-14 and 3:1-4, 6-18. There is much of the Old Testament vengeful God about the scolding, shaming and simultaneously fiercely loving message there. As in times of old, still today there are those who confuse worship and Religion with a set of practices or outward forms, rather than to see these as mere process to what is important; that is seeking after God and deeply desiring him to be present in good times and bad times, ever present and all merciful. 

     We heard of the value of silence when letting a verse settle into one's mind, especially for electronically burdent friends among us. Distraction is just a buzz, whistle or chime away. A few worshipers told of instances when God spoke through sign or person nearby. It would seem that God is all around, but few speak his language and thus perceive his voice; see his face, observe his hand at work. 

     Part of what participating in church life outside of the weekly shared worship time is to strengthen one's heart; its capacity to hear others and its ability to respond to the quiet, persistent call of God every day. As such the church and its programming of small group study, praying, and service to each other and the community of strangers all around is a kind of fitness center for the strengthening of one's heart. Not the cariovascular organ but rather the thing that allows us to hear and speak to each other heart to heart. That makes participation in a body of believers just as important as regular exercise of the body. If you are not sweating then you aren't working hard enough!

Enacting scripture, Genesis 37: 1-11 dreaming Joseph

Students from Western Theological Seminary came from their Hebrew class to demonstrate the verses they were spending the fall semester discovering in deep study of letters, words, phrases, staging and voicing in order to get to know God better. Along the way several questions about the spoken English and then the acted out Hebrew came to mind, https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pCyw8tQ-LEg.
    First, after 12 weeks of continuous study of the 11 verses they have grown to find new meanings and unexpected ideas rising out of the rhythm and texture of the stories. But I wonder if this new aural and enacted tasted for the text makes the rest of The Book seem thin (lacking the same in-depth treatment) or seem overwhelming (so many other worthy verses remain).
    Next, enacting written passages may have some parallels to musical notation. Just as the markings on sheet music on no more than directions, and the living tissue of sound and pattern comes from going beyond the composer's instructions and feeling the timing and ensemble effect with the other musicians, whether instrumental or vocal. By the same token, the recorded lines from Bible, whether original OT Hebrew and NT Greek, or in vernaculars, should not be conflated with The Word. Only in speaking and in hearing what is pronounced can their be engagement with meanings. Reading silently the pages of the Bible is like reading silently the pages of a music score. The result is a pale approximation of the real thing.
    Third, a devil's advocate would point out that the great depth coming from spending a semester on 11 verses does take one to new places, but yet there is more. And just when a mortal mind starts to feel satisfied with its grasp of the Infinite, The Omnipotent and The Omniscient then one must remember that such impressions are bound to be wrong because one can never comprehend the Infinite. And yet the pursuit of truth and wrestling with The Word is its own reward, incomplete and imperfect though it may be forever.

The chase is the thing

Every seeker has a certain capacity for curiosity and righteousness; a certain appetite to feed periodically. Such is the reaching toward God that a person can make. Just when some sense or coherence appears, that is when we falsely foreclose the Infinite. We imagine that we have grasped, or at least touched, or merely brushed against the Omnipotent. As long as you paddle your boat, walk your path, and engage in some way, then the Word is alive. But should you ever feel in control, in command of knowledge or blessed by some sort of wisdom, then you are merely self-referential; going around in circles and looking at your mirrored image and mistaking this for the Creator. Being connected to the vine is the thing, not to encompass or understand the vine, but instead to be connected to it.

    As a young creature this connection may be implicit in things like a strong body or gleeful play. Even a laugh touches a person's heart and those within earshot. But as a knowledge-hungry grown-up such things as words and pictures are depended on for connecting to the Infinite and Omnipresent. Later on, with the benefit of age or at least the benefit of wider life experience, then we my feel less need to explain or grasp a thing because appreciation and knowing of the thing can be obtained more simply, much like a child is doing without articulating it verbally or intellectually. God just is; and so we just are.

    And so there is some comfort in knowing that one's searching for God and longing to know him better comes from basic connections: spending time and focus and fellowship in The Word. There is no need or even possibility of getting to the end of study and search. But merely the effort will yield habits and fruit.

Organizing your religion - What Would Jesus Do?

One question is to ask how a Savior would organize his daily routines, establish primary relationships among a band of disciples, and make use of the many ways to communicate in writing and orally in person, by telecommunicating, or online with mobile devices and services. If the goal of reaching out to people most ready to hear his message (usually downtrodden, ill, financially broke or socially broken) remains unchanged, then amid the many distractions the message would also remain the same: to love God and to love one's neighbor.

    But another question, the one weighing down many church bodies, is about the organizational culture of expectations, standard practices, and administrative burden for record keeping and decision-making in a collective way. Clearly there are some matters that remain the same today as with the earliest groups in the Jesus Movement: things like attracting interest of outsiders to seek and learn and participate, cultivating care and responsibility for one another across the life cycle, worshiping together to praise God and to give thanks. Other things are vastly different then to now: religious persecution vs. freedom, house church scale and scope vs. traditional congregations of 30-150 (or the massive Seekers churches), segmented and mobile lives vs. days mostly lived out in a small circumference, households of multi-generation as social identity versus rugged individuals divorced, separated or married with considerable gender equality now vs. then. Against the few unchanged parts and the many different conditions for knowing God and relating to one's neighbors, the question remains: What Would Jesus Do if doing God's work involved an organized church, rather than his ad hoc band of believers?

    The church that I usually attend has a monthly meeting of elders/elected leaders whose discussions touch on the three layers of governance: budget (operations and administrative duties), executive (decisions to make), and vision and learning (thinking ahead, seeking the Spirit, caring for each other and the larger church of members and friends). Thanks to literacy and electronic communications the number of documents circulated before and after the face to face meeting seems to expand with no natural limit, sometimes amounting to a dozen or more items totalling 20 or 30 pages, some of which is dense or requires careful reflection and eventual discussion. Surely nothing like this took place in the itinerant orbit of early church leaders. They had no bulletin boards, monthly newsletters, webpages and Facebook sites, weekly email notices and the many communications of modern infrastructure: utilities, repairs, grounds maintenance, occasional wedding or funeral event, shopping and ordering supplies and curriculum materials, coordinating schedules for use of the building's rooms and equipment, updating office equipment and computer software, keeping up with email and voicemail messages, and so on. Again - how can all this busyness be reigned in and the entire experience of being a body of believers by streamlined to more closely look like Jesus and a handful of disciples? Looking at the matter from another angle, among contemporary church groups what is the "lowest maintenance" example of minimal organizational functions, while keeping the emphasis on praising God, loving one's neighbor and growing in one's service to the Creator?

    There is a spectrum of experiences among church goers from the ones who show up for weekly worship and then go home, on the one hand, to those who find themselves engaged in small groups, volunteer activity, and other work at church throughout the week. Paid staff shoulder much of the operational busyness, but the governing body (budget, decision making, vision and learning) seems increasingly to spend their energy with the myriad details of guiding and expanding the organization (rather than taking individual spiritual health and growth as the unit of analysis and object of efforts). All is conducted with good intentions, but then the road to perdition is paved with good intentions, too. So as the burden of entertaining talk of church matters gets heavier, the remaining time and interest in matters of the heart is diminished. Big and well-managed organizations can do things that small groups or individuals cannot. And yet the small group seems to be able to do things that organized bodies cannot; namely, abide with God's word and in one another's presence. Perhaps that is also what Jesus would do: eschew big buildings with their priority of perpetuating themselves, sapping the participant's vision and hearts. Instead he would stick with the love or one person at a time and therein find God.

Genesis of First Testament (old testament)

While the process and timeline leading to the canon comprising the 2nd (New) Testament is generally known (Council of Nicea in 325 CE, later variations as E. and W. Christendom split and further with the offshooting of Protestantism), the "archeology" of the 1st (Old) Testament is less commonly discussed or understood. Among Protestants it seems that emphasis goes on the Jesus stories and letters of the early church. That may be due to the smaller time horizon (2-3 years of Jesus and maybe 15-20 of the early church); compare the 4-5000 years, many pages, chapters, events, figures, and genres in the 2nd Testament.


In the eyes of Jewish teachers, students and believers the geography of the Jewish Bible (perhaps nearly identical to 2nd Testament for Christians; or to Qu'ran for Muslims) consists of several parts, including The Laws (penta tuch; first five books), Histories, Wisdom literature, Prophets, and so on. But the moment or points at which the composition of the Hebrew Bible came about is not much discussed in Protestant services. Related: for the 2nd Testament we know the process leading to break up into Chapters (800s C.E.) and Verses (1400s C.E.). But what of the Jewish Bible: was that contemporary to the Christians' scholarly analysis and processing, or did division and annotation take place after or before the Christians' undertaking?


As usual, wikipedia has some clues to the genesis of the Jewish Bible (2nd Testament). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Development_of_the_Hebrew_Bible_canon

Immersion program to speak God's love; Well-oiled operation

Immersion in the language of God's love?

The sermon of 9/28/2014 was entitled "fanning the flames" and referrred to Paul's encouragement (to ask and to urge) to Thessalonians in which he says that they already are doing a good job of expressing God's love but he wants them to do this same thing (the flame of God's love) even more (fanning the flame). Some of the sermon phrases reminded me of my experience learning to speak a second language: at first I was hesitant and would feel more certain of my meaning when I took the words that I heard, mentally put them into English, and then consider my response in English before putting that response into the second language. Besides tiring my brain out by doing double-duty, it also made things slow and generally created some psychological distance between me and the other speakers as well as between myself and the second language itself as a skin-tight, close-fitting medium of expression. The analogy to God's language (of the heart, engaging in relationships under God's authority and Will) is that one may began haltingly and sporadically, but will ultimately grow most comfortable with the ways of communication by practice, by context, by motivation of communicating with those around you. So instead of depending on the intermediate language of putting the situation into your native (consumer and/or diploma-educated) language, strive to speak the language directly by immersion with no secondary step involved. The result should be, as in the foreign language experience above, faster communication, less fatigue, and closer psychological distance to other people speaking that language, and greater familiarity with the language itself.

Well-oiled machine, mainline Protestant church with momentum

Vigorous, doubt-free clergyman ablely plugs into willing congregants as a series of board, committees and accountability structures. Rituals are held, poverty, illness and the other human sufferings are banished and the whole enterprise presents a good picture to the outside world and to those actively involved on the inside, no matter if they carry responsibilities for operations there or instead are more passive bench sitters who find meaning in simple presence of the well-oiled machine, humming along season after season.

    Yet how well does this vehicle carry believers and believers-yet-to-be forward in spiritual growth and emergent hearts of love - of God and of one's neighbor? Certainly there is structure or scaffolding to bring a person to the right sort of mind-frame and sometimes some ready opportunities to trust and risk a little bit to build new relationships. And there is a glow of encouragement when looking in the cultural and organizational mirror to confirm that the body of believers walks and talks as they imagine they should. When seen at the unit of individual (are you better off now that one year ago, in terms of your capacity to love and the places this takes you); or when seen at the next bigger unit of inter-relationships, it is less clear how well an organized religion is better than the smaller "house church" model of primitive Christianity.

    The danger is that the humming machine lulls a person into outward busyness but inward comfort and blunted vigilance. Seeking, questioning and trialing is less appealing or urgent when all outward signs speak to one's sense of propriety and peer approbation; feeling the love of The World's eyes. And yet, even with the risk of contentment and feeling fulfilled, imperfect though it may be, there is a certain institutional inertia and persistence that less formal gatherings lack. And so, with one life to live, is the path of seeking and growth of spirit better to be had informally but with high-quality instruction and help; or is the way more effective under the pattern of a denominational faith tradition? Maybe the best of all possible worlds is to affiliate and participate loosely with brothers and sisters of Organized Religion, but all the while mindfully sharpening the critical voices and wondering mind to keep inquiring and wrestling with the Word of God. In other words, what may work best is a less well-oiled machine; one in which "some assembly is required," some repair may be needed and decisions may need to be remade by the current generation.

many notes - Free Will, stumbling blocks, overthinking God

Free Will again

The new covenant releases followers from The Law's particular details since one should be guided by what is on the inside of one's heart, rather than externalities. But allowing that the path one may follow is not prescribed does not mean that just any road is equally good. After all one may stray now perhaps even more easily than before without any external structure or guardrails. And yet it is the risk of sinning that makes the effort vital; not that one should stray until hitting that point, but that having no possibility of missing the path would kill any feelings of volunteerism, or being led by what is on one's heart. So we are free, but still the road taking us nearer to God is there, as before; or rather, there are so many roads now, yet for each person the beckoning of the road must be hearkened to while remaining watchful not to fall off the path: we are free to follow or to fall. We are unfettered and can respond to God's call, but not any old ways of leading one's life are equally effective in conducting a person to the destination.

    A similar thing happens in constituting a group of believers or ecclesia ('called out' from the masses). We strive to form a body with clear boundaries and well defined hands and feet of God. But at the same time the door remains open to all; that is, the boundaries are porous. And we strive to be righteous and self-improved, but at the same time welcome sinners less striving as brothers and sisters, equal to ourselves in God's eyes, since all sins are equal in his-her eyes no matter what our mortal measuring stick tells us. And while holding up an image of righteous people, we are also vigilant to guard against self-righteousness (self-referenced glory); that is, we hold ourselves high, and yet at the same time strive for humility and the heart of a servant or slave to The Master. Likewise, again, we leave judgment of a person's conduct or intention to God; that is, our place is not to judge a brother or sister. And yet there are certain right and wrong things in human society, surely. The vast judicial system and property experts, conflict resolution experts and mediation counselors all tread near this judgment function that belongs ultimately to God.

Spiritual growth - an ends or a means?

Many people can sense when a person, place or things carries either more or else less spiritual wisdom, efficacy, or gravitas relative to our own selves. Although we might never have considered the life stages or developmental steps in a person's accidental or mindful growth in spirit.

    A fundamental difference lies in the assumptions about growing in one's spirit. Is this a fixed ladder that one may climb in a sequential and orderly way? Or instead is this a moving organism that needs exercise and feeding and rest, not to mention some teaching by those who have gone before. If one need only recognize the Big Questions to be solved and then proceeds to do so, then the effort is a single project in one's life, whether it be in younger days or in the final chapter(s) of one's time. But on the other hand, if growth of one's spirit depends on repeated and indefinite small events, both as giver and as receiver, then the image of recurring appetite for one to satisfy comes to mind instead.

Stumbling blocks to one's fellows

Paul urges his helpers to determine what practices will best lead the newest Christians into relationship with each other and with God. In particular he urges them not to do anything that may cause the newcomers to stumble or fixate upon the wrong things. So if eating meat from the altar causes them a stir, for example, then don't provoke this response in them.

    Turning the lens around to face the other way; namely, to face the people of the Congregational Church, it would be interesting to discover that hot-buttons set off Congregationals by comparison with other of the mainstream Protestant churches.

Unlikely to wrestle with the words of God from thousands of years ago

The weekly men's bible study has been going over 15 years, I imagine. Except for a few months in summer, the 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. timeslot is dim or dark. Riding, walking or driving up the street and turning in at the parking lot, there are few signs of life: maybe one or two cars are there already and a light at the entry steps is lit. So to move from the outdoor weather fine or foul into the building, it seems hard to believe that anyone could show up and hear the word of God presented in English and open to tangents, wonderings and applications of the lesson as grasped by the men who are on hand at a given date. Maybe it seems improbable that stories going back, in some cases, perhaps 6-7,000 years ago still are being read and wrestled with; words not only distant in time while remaining fresh to those living in  our time and place, but words also distant in language and society, too; traveling across time and oceans to people who don't speak ancient Greek, Hebrew or Aramaic. And yet, one week after another, one book at a time --if only a few verses or paragraphs-- this is exactly what happens. We open the book and pick up where we left off, plunging into ancient things that are freshly made for our lives.

Balancing deed and words - cautions against overthinking God

The book of James includes the part about "faith without deeds is dead;" and yet the particular actions probably don't matter much to God, who does things in his-her time on a much bigger canvas of infinite details. He-she does not depend on our imperfect hearts and feet of clay. However the intentionality, sincerity and general effort that may preoccupy us as we strive may well result in drawing us closer to each other and to God; and that part of the exercise in action does matter. In other words, action is a physical expression of what lies inside each person and also, in a sort of feedback loop, what happens in physical space and time also touches what is inside each person. In summary, abundant action by and of itself is not meritorious. But to dwell exclusively in the interior spaces of mindful reflection or meditation is not sufficient, either. Rather a little of both is needed to reinforce the one (interior faith) with the other (deeds).
    It is understandable that a person would wish to structure a daily cycle or annual schedule that helps create a scaffolding or supporting system to cause one to focus on particular things in specific ways. But giving words to the process and experience of wisdom and discernment and splitting hairs (how many angels could dance on the head of a pin) amounts to overthinking one's place in God's world. Being verbal, analytic or visual in thinking and articulating matters is OK, but it is not a substitute for being with God, being God in some distant way, and doing God's work.

Gospel of small 'g' or capital letter 'G'

Men's bible study on Paul's letter to the Galatians (today's central Turkey crossroads town) opens with admonition that Judaizers were dragging the Gospel of the new church down into the mass of detail inherited from the Jewish way. Consider what Jesus was teaching and proclaiming in his story (small 'g' gospel or Good News to discard all the rules and deal-making with the Almighty and dwell only on loving God and one's neighbor as oneself: the kingdom of God is here, now, at hand; not a distant future place), on the one hand, and what we call The Gospels (capital 'g' Gospel of Jesus' story, including his horrid death with glorious resurrection for Christians, the "Easter People" who count on life everlasting).

    In other words, there is some variance in the emphasis of Jesus' message and that of Christians new and old who follow, one generation after the other. Jesus said that the Kingdom is now, so go about God's work in your small lifetime - this by itself is your reward and what may follow earthly life will come of its own accord as a natural consequence; don't obsess about a future, delayed gratification of a promised reward to earn; grace is given thanks to Jesus once and forever sacrifice, grace is not something to be earned.

Doing Christianity vs. doing so "like you mean it"

Paul and Peter conflicted when it came to the means and the ends to follow Jesus when it came to engaging with Jews joining The Way. Paul said not to be preoccupied by externalities of what is allowed and what is forbidden, or any of the other points of concern among the Jews striving to keep kosher. Peter seemed to think of those practices as a worthy foundation, but not a requirement for all to conform to; as a valuable thing rather than a stumbling block; an asset rather than liability. The subtle distinction Paul draws is between practices that may support certain (novice) believers to serve as a vehicle or means of connecting with God's love and feeding that relationship in patience and with courage, and practices being the object of preoccupation and veneration; of worshiping certain words, actions and ritualized sequences. In other words, there may be many forms that worship can take, but few if any are absolutely necessary or sufficient to connect with God and with one's neighbor.

    What may suit one person may be a distractor or stumbling block for another person. As such it is worth being vigilant about things that help versus hinder the worship of God; and it is worth being vigilant about conflating and confusing a set of specific practices with the thing they are the means to reaching. An example could be the "widow's mite" (woman of limited means who gives her two coins at the collection plate): scaled to her circumstances this meant a big sacrifice, whereas to a wealthy person the same coinage may have no meaning. Thus it is the intent or spirit in which a practice is conducted that matters when it comes to softening one's heart, opening one's eyes and ears, and drawing one closer to God's Will to make his Kingdom Come on Earth as in Heaven. It is not the mere conformity to the particular details that matters: of clothing, Order of Service, the plate offering given, or the Christina radio and lifestyle that one dwells in.

God's love; God's word

The opening prayer at the Bible study ended with thanks, "God you give us your word." There is a  double meaning of Word of God (you give us this collection of 66 books to read in our language and our social world), on the one hand, and Give Me Your Word (you affirm the truth, good faith and good will of your declarations; i.e. statements worthy of complete trust), on the other hand.

    Reading of God's abiding desire to draw each soul close to each other and to him/herself, we resort to the phrase of "God's love," "The LORD loves us so much that he gave his son," or the commandment to "love God with heart, mind, body and soul" (all of what one is). Yet among English speakers the word 'love' has dozens of inflections and connotations. By comparison, the source texts in 2000 year old Greek choose among 4 senses; indeed, 4 different words that all get lumped under the English word 'love': philos, eros, agape, and ___. Going back to the example of "God's love," in light of the abiding motive to draw each person closer to God, it makes sense that "love" of God means a relationship comprising trust and care and even affection, which is simple and direct and unconditional. As such 'God's love" is both more than  and less  than garden-variety love. "God's love" is deeper and longer lasting than the capricious human experience of relationships. And "God's love" is stripes away the cloying sentimentality, reverent memorialization, or dutiful and ritualistic routine that sometimes get blurred with everyday human interrelationships.

    In sum, "God's love" is another way of saying God's desire to be in relationship with each person as they grow stronger in faith, recognize God's voice, and affirm the bond they have with the Almighty maker of the heaven and earth.

The 4Bs: Bones >Blood >Breath >Beatha (thrum of Gaia)

Guided visualization begins with the solid part of one's body (bones) and goes to liquid (blood) and then vapor (breath) before finally coming to Beathe, a background charged buzz of all living and non-living things of which one forms a part. But on top of all this physical presence and belonging in The World, there is one still higher level and that is to hearken to the will or voice of God. Three ways in which that could happen are calming and centering one's busy mind in order to (1) actively listen for this voice; going about to (2) seek His Will, and (3) dwelling in the state of grace, as if one has already arrived at life's goal and now may simply relax and reflect.

Signs and Wonders - deer gallops into the edge of town at high noon

Francis of Assisi is famous for his rapport with non-human creatures. I felt a twinge of that direct, non-verbal relationship when the deer came up my street a little confused and took a turn toward the neighbor's house, trapping itself between house and chain-link fence, where it rammed itself into the immovable barrier repeatedly. Finally my dog and I ventured near and shouted it to "go"! It its panic it paid no heed, but continued tearing the skin from the one ear. Then, fearing hoof prints on my sandal-clad feet I waved the arm not holding my dog's leash to get its attention; still nothing. Then I slapped its shoulder several times to redirect its flight or fight urge and it went away toward the street in the direction of the town edge, but following north toward the place where the railroad tracks used to run. To be so close as to touch something wild is a strange feeling that seems to remove the imagined separation of wild and tame: "we creatures of God are all steward on this earth for our allotted time."

Reserving the best seats at the table (book of James)

The part where we are admonished against judging others and placing the powerful or beautiful in privileged positions and others at the margins caused me to reflect: in this earthly plane there will always be distinctions that we regard as better or worse in significance, opportunity or value in some physical or cultural scale. There will always be a certain number of steaks from a fatted calf and much more that ends up ground as hamburger. Not everyone can have a steak; or a wild-caught salmon, for that matter. And perhaps the 6-7 billion humans cannot all have one or multiple internal combustion-engine personal vehicles. Just so of the story in James: even if we should not judge others and accord the seats in that way, the physical facts of a room and its furniture mean that not all seats are equally near the presenter or presiding person, for example. How then to regard all people, property and actions with equality when the physical existence is filled with distinctions? Could all decisions comes from random lots drawn? First come, first served? Rotation schedule? Along with Free Will comes the challenge of "may Thy Will be done on earth as in heaven" (fitting the intended equality of all spirits/hearts/relationships to the Creator into the physical facts of mortal existence).

Doing God's work

Since there are always at least two parties in "do unto others as you would have done also unto you" (or Love Your Neighbor/vicinity-person As Yourself), it is worth looking at the various combination of giving and receiving that may take place in those actions. Suppose, for instance, that a well-intentioned person is generous in heart and gives unconditionally to others in authentic need, in perceived or suspected need, or in declared need. Suppose further that the recipient is not acquainted with Christian values, but does see that they can go repeatedly to the Christian for advice, help or material support. Taken to an extreme this could turn into a parasitic or possibly symbiotic relationship with the one being the chronic taker and the other being a (self-validating) giver.

     The question then is motive of the giver: is the Christian responding to the taker in order to fulfill perceived standards of Christian charitability, or as a way to build a relationship and rapport that will allow future steps closer to God (in other words being motivated for the other person; the taker's possible future interests)? The same giver-taker relationship can be seen in another way: the giver could be motivated for self (feeling good about giving) or for other (with a view to the taker's possible relationship to God and Neighbors). And the taker, too, could be motivated for self (grab what one can) or for other (by presenting needs to the giver, then this validates the giver or provides an outlet for the person's expression).

    Marcel Mauss wrote The Gift soon after WWI and shed light on the invisible bonds that the act and the object of giving carry along. Many of those insights extend beyond ethnographic fieldnotes and early sociological essays. These dynamics apply also the the book of James about "faith without works is dead."

Rules of the Game

In the weekly Bible study there is often reference made to the 10 commandments and subsequently the 613 additional guidance corollaries of Jewish tradition. This is made in contrast to the New Covenant brought by Rabbi Jeshua (Jesus the Christ) in which the overruling rule is governed by one's heart in living relationship with God the Creator. For Muslims, too, there are numerous patterns for behavior that are prescribed: how to dress, speak, eat, pray and structure the annual cycle of worship. And while comparatively the Christian way is less formalized, certainly there are rituals and worship patterns that are fairly rigid. During the preliminary parts of the past Sunday's worship service, I sensed a fleeting feeling of decorum and expectation among worshipers about what the components and performative standards for conducting the order of service should be. In other words, even among mainline Protestants (Congregational church), there is a certain fixation with external behaviors among the spiritually new as well as mature. Granted all things of the world must take specific physical form and definite chronological sequence, but to be true to the Christian path, one should instead dwell on the presence of the Holy Spirit (that of God within oneself and others; the light within) and not the potentially distracting details of (unspoken) dress code, amount of money contributed, location of pew customarily taken on Sunday, fanciness of potluck dish given, etc.

    What then are the differences in rule-based structures of individual and corporate worship between Jewish (long established and practiced), Muslim (micro-managed training wheels to support a person's spiritual path), and Christian (rubber meets the road in each pilgrim's heart; not so much confined or integral with external descriptors of ethnicity, family name and home ground, worship space, recitation, physical pages of Scriptures, etc). In all cases the adherents view the rules and precedents and customary habits as building blocks to one's personal standing and relationship with The Creator. But seen from the outside, rather than from practitioners and functionaries, there is a spectrum that reaches from more to fewer rules and prescribed physical elements. Who is to say how much structure a given person requires before completely trusting in God's Will and having certainty in their Faith at each point in their spiritual growth? It seems to be human nature to hold onto tangible or visible markers to signal to self and to others who they are, or what the aspire to. Thus the externalities (organized religion and its spaces, words, and routines) do have an important role, but for the most mature adherents there seems to be less need or will to grip such things tightly. Instead they hold such things lightly and place their energies on knowing God more directly and in an uncluttered way.

    So that palpable feeling of performative anxiety, spectators' critical eye, and awareness of decorum is not bad of itself. It is OK to sense such things, but then to know that one's expression of worship and loving of God is not the same thing as dressing in church clothes and meeting the expectations of one's perceived betters. Instead, one should strive to streamline the paths leading to God's love and be free from distraction, confusing or overwhelming details.

One way to feel centered and in-tune with the Creator is to begin with the physical layers of one's body: visualize bones (solid), then overlay the circulating blood (liquid), and then overlay the steady breaths in and out (gas). To this physical self then also tie in to the living force of things all around of the natural environment and wider cosmos beyond. Lastly, and given this charged sense of being in the world, listen as God calls your name as one who knows you well; better indeed than anybody else can do.

Image in the late afternoon May 30th sunlight: I pedal past the Catholic church and pass parishioners moving toward the doors in their modest and colorful summer clothing in time for the Saturday celebration of mass. Then I wonder: compared to the primitive Christians who met in one another's homes, having a big organization and prominent location makes for a different experience as leader and as follower.

    Being in the margins and also subjected to persecution --first from orthodox temple Jews, and later from Roman occupiers-- perhaps limited the scope of ambitions and options for engaging the powers that be, and perhaps it caused believers to be ever vigilant and survival oriented. On the other hand, being at the center of what it means to be proper, respectable and surrounded by beauty, eternity, holy righteousness leads to a different experiential impression and the resulting worldview. Being part of the powerful things can be corrupting; can lead to some complacency and perhaps lead to confusion between the organization's glories and the message that Christiantiy carries.

    How then to have the best of both: the hunger of the desperately seeking and the ease and generous heart of those who have arrived at some stability and ease?

Communion - always fresh

My experience of the communion celebration varies from one occasion to another; sometimes because of the form it takes (served at railing by officiants, individual portions passed from plate across all pews, tearing own piece of bread to dip into wine, rustic or camping experience of make-shift elements). Other times it is not the form it takes or the setting in which conducted, but rather depends on the focus or lack-of-focus in my own mind.

    Today I was mindful of several things - the symbolism of the purpley-red juice pressed from grapes (blood as God's; not to be shed by men; something polluting and also sacred; the thing that stands for Christ's living force that was given for all of us), but also the natural beauty and living fruit of the farmer's hand (that synthetic juice would never be as rich and deep as the real thing created from grape, soil, sun and water), as well as being mindful of the humble heart of the recipient of this wonderful creation of God's world held her in the small plastic cup before me. On other occasions different facets of the celebration are foremost in my mind; for example, the preamble words that hearken back to the original communion feast in the Upper Room, the many sided ways that communion is carried out in the many denominations, languages and periods of history among the great and the small. Still other prominent themes that have come into my mind at other times include the awareness of the utter humility with which one should accept the unconditional love carried in the communion action 2000 years (100 generations?) ago; or the specific worries or burdens one may have on a given occasion for things past or things impending.

    No matter the particular mix of motives and attention brought to the taking of the elements, those same words and actions have the power to take on different meanings, time after time.

heart of "searching and wonder"

These two characteristics belong to a person who is actively growing in spiritual maturity; someone who is different to the person they were a month or year earlier. What are some of the other characteristics whereby one can recognize spiritual leadership and maturity? It is often in contrast to the signs and indicators of success in the consumer playing field: not the one with the most toys is the winner, but rather the one whose heart is most open and expressive (not callused) and who wants to get to know God closer and closer. Maturity or growth of spirit includes ability to use the Spiritual Gifts that have been given; to love one's neighbor and oneself equally; to have well developed habits of the heart (prayer alone and together, reading and thinking/writing/talking) and strategies for facing difficulties and engaging openly; of holding discordant ideas in one's mind at the same time.

paradox, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Light”

Perhaps this is an artifact of the human need to discover and impute meaning to all things, or the urge to impose logic and thereby to understand a thing on a human scale, but the first part of this quote, “I am the Way” seems to have at least two meanings that don’t seem to agree from a rational perspective.

    One is as an ends (I am…) that you have arrived at: by following or striving to be Christ-like, you are on the right road, so rest easy and search no further (but do keep treading that road). The other is as a means (the Way) that you need to use in order to get to the place you should strive for, but which you won’t reach in any final way; small moments of realization perhaps, but the playing field is constantly in motion, so it requires constant care and feeding. That equilibrium of aspiring, striving, expressing one’s Spiritual Being is what moves one’s maturity forward to a place closer to God.

    So is the emphasis on I AM the Way, or is the emphasis on I am THE WAY? The answer seems to be both/and. The earthly Jesus was an example to fellow creatures to emulate in form and in intent: actions and intention. There is a small element of feeling that you have arrived at the right place (righteous, but not self-righteous), but that now is when the real work begins, now that you are on the right road; it is a long way.

Freedom to roam as God’s agent in His World

By keeping one eye on God, much like a compass or firm rudder, once may go to all corners of humanity to act on God's behalf. It is sort of like satellite radio for long-distance drivers. The signal is equally strong anyplace you may go; there is no need to search or to fine tune as the locations change. Wrestling with The Word (bible or engagement with others in study and fellowship) generates richer relationships. But while the teachings are precious, the ink and paper of the book are nothing. Thus the high regard for a Bible is not as object of veneration, power, magic or other idol-like worship, but rather it is because the act of personal connection and engagement convicts your sense of purpose. The words are not mere verbal beauty for bystanders, but instead require embrace and response --action (faith without deeds is empty).

    So, yes, do put faith into action. But action does not always mean movement. It can be commitment made internally upon hearing a Bible passage. It can be forbearing not to interject opinions or advice when another person wants only to be listened to. It can be silent witness or fellowship without elaborate verbal articulation, analysis or rationalization.

    Sales professionals and behavioral economists alike say that decisions are sparked by emotional response and that rationalization comes after the fact to shore up the emotional expression. Just so of God's calling - let your response be sparked by emotion, pure and unmitigated by verbal carrots and sticks. That is the best way to be God's agent in His World. No matter which way the winds blow or the current may run, still you may guide by the unchanging star of your maker's love for you in all seasons of life; times of plenty and when the cupboard is bare.